I think you should sit down with your wife and ask her how you two should tell the kid's. This would be great exposure for her to deal with. Give her some really darn important things to think about. Ask her, what should we tell them that you are gay and had an affair? The truth is what the truth is. Ask her also what shou;d we tell our friends and parents. Just let them know you are gay and had an affair. Let her feel the shame of it.
Also I just would like you to take a look if you can in the forum sex starved marriage. There is a post there by a poster named chocolateeyes. He is not out of the woods but made remarkable progress with his situation. Also an affair. I think you would be interested to know he exposed his wife for what she was doing to her parents and everything. Even the other person's parents. LOL His wife has made HUGE progress on recommiting to the marriage. It is a story of real inspiration. Anything is worth a shot at this point.
