You know what I have struggled with Amy, the idea that doing nothing is actually doing something. For me I have had it in my head that I have to be doing something, anything if we are to continue to move forward together. I kept looking at the sep agreement as a negative that was preventing us from doing positive things. I also looked at it that no matter what response I gave it would be negative. Well my response doesn't have to be negative nor does it have to be received negatively. I just have to figure out a way to validate her reasons and feelings while presenting a fair and equitable alternative. A lot easier said then done that's for certain.
After talking with y'all, a good friend here and my priest I came to realize with our situation doing nothing isn't negative. It is doing something. What my wife is really telling me in all of this is that she still needs space. We've covered a lot of ground in the last month and she needs a breather. The easiest way to give her what she wants and needs is....doing nothing! Not to say we won't discuss the agreement, we will but I don't have to feel like it's so urgent it has to be done yesterday. We have time and taking it slow and easy is just fine. Doing nothing in regards to our relationship is fine too because it's giving her exactly what she wants, space and time.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
