Letting Go of My WAW

[SuperDad]

Thanks for the support JR! I really am struggling with being apart from the kids, but I will make the best of it and we will be together a lot somehow.

Journaling:
I am really struggling with my PMA still. I try to keep a positive attitude around W, but it is hard when she is so excited about getting back to Austin and I am watching her tear apart our family and everything that we worked so hard to build for the past 15 years.

aside:
W just came in to my room and wanted to talk about her buying the plane ticket to go meet with the hiring principal in Austin and sign her contract. It was about $150 more expensive than I anticipated and I was trying to find a cheaper ticket. She got upset that she was "a burden" and that she would just borrow money from her parents. (totally not necessary) I said she was not a burden, I just wanted to see if I could save some $. At least she did not ask me to put OM on the email distribution of the ticket. AHHH!!!

back to journaling
I just need to get back to reading Awakening at Midlife and think Bhuddist (everything in life is transient, happiness if found by living in the moment and enjoying the life that we have).

What I am thankful for:
1. I am still with the kids and they are still blissfully ignorant. (not for much longer)
2. We all have our health.
3. W and I are still civil (even though I cannot at all understand why she feels the need to do this!).
4. My family and friends are SOOOOO supportive of me and have not given her any indication that they accept what she is doing.
5. That my W is hopeful about her life again.

I know no. 5 is odd, but she was so excited when the job offer came in. I wanted to get excited with her, but then it occured to me that this meant she was really going. I know she is really happy to be getting back home and that by letting her go, I am doing the right thing.

Now I just need to figure out my "path with heart". What the heck is the right trade off between my long term goals and the time I spend with the kids over the next months?

Again, I appear to have 3 options:
1. Stay in current position and work 1 week out of 4 from Austin. (two weekends there, two weekends here).
2. Become a sort of "internal consultant" and work 3 weeks there and 1 week here.
3. Take the promotion and live the life of a nomad (between S. FL and Cent. FL during the weeks and fly to Austin on most weekends, with some of them 3 dayers).

Option 1. is seeming to be the best possibility right now because I will get to publish my current work, thus putting me in good shape for a prof. position down the road and I will still stay relavant to the business. I will still be with the kids 1/2 of the weekends and only have to travel back and forth once a month. Also, I have an excuse to keep the house for a while, which will be hard to sell.

Option 2. is attractive only if I can get lined up to take a prof. position within a year since I will rapidly get out of the loop at work and then not be able to sustain it.

Option 3. is attractive because I will have the ear of upper management and may be able to make my own path forward. The travel seems onerous and I would need to get a big raise since I would need to spend about $1500-2k/mo. on travel. It is the type of opportunity for which I have been looking for over 2 years, and now that it is here, I don't know if I really want it.

OK, A long post already, but needed to get some things written down.

Love to hear any thoughts,
SD