Long term effects of a SSM?

[RedHeadWife]

Yeah, I understand that, and like I said, I'm not saying to threaten D, especially if you don't mean it.

My thinking before? Well, like your list above, I was tired all the time; honestly, after awhile of not having S, I just got used to not having S; got tired of feeling like every little touch or intimate behavior HAD to lead to S. I also did not understand how sex lead to intimacy and a closeness in an M that you can't have otherwise. Well, I changed my ways by initiating S pretty much every day (therefore, at the beginning I had first-hand knowledge of the rejection feeling), I just began loving my H, as we had grown apart quite a bit w/ putting the children and all of the other stresses of life before our R. I made sure I took the time to have time just with him after the boys went to bed. I talked to him about things other than the boys, work, etc.

Now with him being deployed, I'm still doing the things to make sure he knows he is supported and loved and missed. I have a note on my computer that says : Encouragement, Support, Compassion. Those were things my H needed and wasn't getting.