I agree with you, WII, it should be a joint talk! I handled our talk very badly (this was before I had really managed to get a grip on DB'ing, otherwise I would have done it completely differently). Anyway, just learn from my mistake, and also see that even when mistakes are made, when one does the 180's, follow the DB principles with GAL'ing, detaching, etc., things can still change for the better.
You could say that you and their mother still care about each other (as I am sure she does care for you, despite her foolish actions), that they will always be safe, and loved. This is not their fault, and you and your W will do your best to lessen the impact on their lives. They don't have to be told about the A or whose fault it is (as long as they know, it's not theirs), just that mom and dad are not getting along, despite trying, and feel it best to separate.
I really do empathize with at this point, really deeply. You'll probably find the kids know a lot of what's going on already.
Anyway, 'nuff said ... your mind is probably in so much turmoil just thinking about it. Just hope some of our thoughts here will help, and not add to the confusion.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
