Sorry GEL & all, I'm just having one of my *bad* days. Emotional -- maybe I need meds -- it's another one of my "I need to be strong and do it on my own" things -- I don't really want to keep taking the AD's b/c it does seem to drag my SD down and obviously I don't want that.
I have read and done all the DB'ing -- that's the only reason we aren't maritally separated instead of just physically separated I think. As far as 180's go, I had been thinking maybe I would just back off a little and quit pouring on the emails, cards, etc., but then I don't want him to think "oh here we go again, she's been doing all this and now she's going to quit and go back to how we used to be." (not necessarily as emotionally supportive as I could have been)
MrsNOP, as far as whether he was supportive in the past, HE surely thinks he was, but he was doing it in his way and I had no idea what he was doing (i.e. he did a lot of stuff around the housing thinking he was making things easier for me).
A big part of our problem was lack of communication (actual sit down and talk stuff instead of just passing comments or expecting the other to know what we were thinking). He seems to think I should have known how unhappy he was all along, but never told me things he could have to help me to know what was going on w/ him.
I guess by "reach out to him" I mean let him know how I'm feeling about things. That I could use some more emotional, loving support from him.
I guess I'm just afraid to almost say ANYTHING to him about what I *need* emotionally from him in light of the D bomb, etc. I still feel like it's all about him and making him happy and I know that's not how I should be thinking, but I can't help it. I'm still afraid that anything I say along the lines of R talk could blow things out of the water.
I suppose just saying *lightly* that a few more emails actually *talking* to me instead of just quick replies to mine would be nice, but like I said I'm afraid it may come out wrong and I'd rather just keep my mouth shut.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
