Ok, guess my thoughts & emotions are truly insignificant.
Of course they're not!!!!
You're situation sucks, plain and simple. You deserve better. I think it would be a mistake to read too much into lack of response to your posts. There can be lots of reasons for that, reasons having nothing to do with you
Just read your last couple of messages. I've been away from the boards for a couple of weeks -- things have been, unexpectedly, changing here, for the better.
I'm sorry you are hurting so much right now. I wish I had time right now to catch up with where things are at, but I've just got a few minutes here at lunch.
From what I recall of your situation, you've done an amazing, even heroic, job keeping your marriage together and getting it back on track. You've put in so much effort, and still are, but it seems like you're not getting back what you need AND deserve. It seems quite reasonable to me that the weight of all that would get harder and harder to carry.
I'll catch up on your threads when I get a chance...perhaps tonight. I'm wondering if you are getting any professional support through this lately? Seems like you were going to go for IC?
I'm not an expert. All I can offer you is my years of experience living/partially-living/not-living life. Based upon what I've heard you manage to do so far in turning around your relationship, based upon the consciously-driven learning and action you've taken to make your life better, based upon bits of your personality and character that come through your posts in your own threads and others -- I have no doubt you can get through this and end up with a happier and healthier life.
