One link at a time

[Phoenix_spark]

Yup, get it said. That seems to be my feeling right now on getting things straightened out. I have seen that too often I think things in my sitch are the way they are because W won't speak up and say something. So she's not happy and I'm already "behind the curve, trying to catch up". Considering how many relationship and marriage classes we took early in our R, it amazes me that we're in this sitch. Anyhow, time to make plans and move forward with "the program" the best I can. Good luck o "power point" godess!

[Aud31]

Hey BeingMe--I say go for it! You know that keeping quiet is a cheeseless tunnel...it never hurts to try a new angle. Best wishes!

[whatisis]

Being Me, what is there to lose? All he can do is keep on ignoring you, same as now but you will have the experience of trying something new. You can feel good about yourself. I know in my sitch I often did things because I wanted to know I'd done everything I could, good results are a bonus! As Aud31 says "keeping quiet is a cheeseless tunnel". My only suggestion is to do it nicely, in a calm and upbeat manner. Tone is very important, it can make or break most interactions. Good luck.

[BeingMe]

Thanks y'all! Yeah, I thought I might make it a kinda jokey thing! I don't want to hit him with something too intense after the couple of stressful weeks he's had, and just has a weekend to relax. Although, that puts me on a lower rung of importance, in a way, in that I feel the need to tip toe around him because he's only home for a short time. The eggshell thing ... again! Agh!

I agree with you, WII, that one should try everything before calling it a day. I am a fixer, by nature, so I don't like letting anything go until I have looked at it from all angles. Sometimes that's a curse, but it also has allowed me to learn much about myself, my H, and other people and stuff too. So, it's all good ... I think!

I only tried the 'keeping quiet' thing, as a way to see what it's like (so, emulating H), and as a way to try something different ... another angle, as it were. Might've worked, and it did in one way, in that it took the pressure off H, and maybe it helped to pre-empt any arguments. It showed, too, that I can go for long periods of time, with my mouth firmly shut, and not harping on things. Hahaha! Showed him, didn't I!? Or not, because he probably didn't notice.

Oy vey! Sometimes, I want to head for them thar hills!

[BeingMe]

Oh, and Phoenix ... at last, someone has recognized my divinity (at least, as far as Powerpoint goes, anyway).

[Phoenix_spark]

If only everything in life could be created, handle and executed like a powerpoint presentation. Restarted with a couple of mouse clicks, started and ended at will, then shared with others with very little effort, getting your point across. Life with pretty pictures and bold text. Through in a little nutty humor and it should be about right.

[BeingMe]

If only, Phoenix! Here is a quote that puts Life in a simpler context (much like Powerpoint):

"You're alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act." - Barbara Hall, A Summons to New Orleans, 2000

Less is more, I guess, as 'they' say. Sometimes we make it complicated, when it's really not. Even when God was creating the world, He used such simplistic language, for instance in Genesis 1:3 "And God said, Let there be light: and there was light." Couldn't be more clearer, succinct, and just simple and true.

Just a spot of philosophizin'!

[Phoenix_spark]

Today I'm fighting the motivational bug. Tired of the long drawn out process. I think W and I could use a little "writing of the tablets" (10 Commandments style) right now. "Thou shalt...kaapow!" What ya think? But I guess this is about choices and living by them. Do you think you could come up with something like that in Powerpoint?

[BeingMe]

Oh, yeah! The 10 Marriage Commandments, and why it is in your interest to follow them!

I am your Spouse, and have made vows and covenants before God with you:
1. Thou shalt have no other Spouse before me;
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any photo image, or any likeness of any other that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; (In Ephesians 5:21, it says, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.")
3. Thou shalt not take the name of thy spouse in vain;
4. Remember the wedding day, to keep it holy;
5. Thou shalt not kill (the marriage);
6. Thou shalt not commit adultery (I didn't have to rewrite this one);
7. Thou shalt not steal thy children's security and happiness;
8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy spouse;
9. Thou shalt love thy spouse as thyself; (Ephesians 5:33 "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.")
10.Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's spouse. (Genesis 39 describes what Joseph did when confronted with the possibility of commiting adultery with another man's wife, "11 And it came to pass about this time, that Joseph went into the house to do his business; and there was none of the men of the house there within. 12 And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.")

Another scriptural reference:
Proverbs 6
25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?
28 Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.

Anyway, I can find scriptural references by the hundreds, however, unless the WAS holds this to be true within their hearts, it makes no difference. Some WAS's even think that God is leading them out of their marriages, so that they can be happy. They convince themselves of the rightness of their choices, and are blinded by their selfishness. Even if one is not a believer in any religion, the damage of adultery and divorce are there for all to see.

Okay, back to muh powerpoint presentations.

[Phoenix_spark]

Can we do this as a public service announcement? Ok, I'll settle for a general delivery e-mail.

I think you've nailed this one on the head. In this day of technology and "real life" TV, do you think we can do a "helmet cam" on our spouses? When I met W, she was a girl who had her head "together". Now, I'm not sure what to say. The other day I felt like saying, this is the type of thing/attitude you want our D16 learning? Practice what you preach. Beware of what you preach.