OK, you've been served. Did that just happen, and if so how was it different from giving you a copy? I'm guessing that you signed something saying you acknowledged receipt of the papers.
You went to her IC and everybody was nice and IC used the word "home" instead of "homes." But W is still wanting to D. She has filed for divorce and you have been served.
PLEASE meet with your L tomorrow. Take the Petition with you, and go over W's pleadings one by one. THE CLOCK IS TICKING--HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE BEFORE SHE IS AWARDED EVERYTHING SHE ASKS FOR BY DEFAULT?? What is she asking for? Does it say "joint" custody or "sole" custody--because as I read IN law, those are the only choices.
Assuming Thursday night and all day Friday = 24 hours, and Tuesday night = 3 hours, plus half the weekends totals 51/168 = 30.3% parenting time. Is it possible that anything less than 1/3 in Indiana is considered visitation??
If I understand you correctly, your goal is to delay the divorce, hopefully long enough to give W a chance to change her mind. Letting her get a default judgement against you will ensure a VERY QUICK D. Mediation might take a while, but if you really want to delay, then tell your lawyer that's what you want and she will make that happen.
I really don't understand why you haven't told your W that you want joint custody, 50% parenting time. You hate conflict, fine. Tell your lawyer, and she can tell W's lawyer.
You said that you hate it that W is making these decisions "under the influence" of the EA/OM. Maybe you can't believe that W would be this calculating--acting all nice and yet planning to take everything she wants. What about OM? Is he too nice? Is he coaching her in how to trick you into a bad deal??
BTW, joint custody doesn't automatically mean she won't get any child support. But she will get less because you will have the kids more of the time. Which works out great because she will be free to pick up more shifts at the hospital.
Another thought: Giving someone everything they ask for does not mean they will like you or respect you. It means they will take advantage of you. W and her L are standing up for what W wants. Who is standing up for what YOU want?
