Baltoman It will probably take longer now you've shattered her self confidence as to whether she's a real woman after her hysterectomy. When a woman loses her womb she feels the loss of never being able to have children. Even if she didn't want more kids even going through the menopause can give a woman a sense of loss at that ability.
I would apologise for being an insensitive jerk let her know you didn't mean to hurt her and see her as a beautiful and desirable woman. Take things slow at first if she's always been a bit reserved might take longer for her to overcome her fears re whats dirty and whats okay. Give her long massages with no expectations for yourself. Kiss her passionately during the day not just in bed. Generally build up her desire levels. Try to show her that anything is okay in the bedroom and you get so much pleasure yourself from making her come. You really want her to feel pleasure too.
I don't mind being beaten up. In my defense though, the statement was not in reaction to discussions about the hyst, as she sees no correlation between the hyst and my perceptions of differences in lovemaking between before and after. The statement was in the context of "my perceived" differences between the love making three years ago and now and her perception that I want her to change her personality and sexual persona. My point to her was that I was not looking to change her into something she is not, but I wanted to recapture what we had which is (or at least was) something she is capable of doing.
As to the things you suggested, I would love to do those things if she would let me. The passionate kissing is how I used to be able to gauge how "in the moment" she was. She only liked deeply passionate kissing in the context of making love and only during those times that she was really "into it". Since those times do not happen anymore, I have no opportunity to try your suggestions. She takes everything to be a prelude to sex so the "doing with no expectation" will not feel real to her. As an example at the MC yesterday the MC had us hold hands and tell how we felt doing so. My W suggested that when I reached around and touched her back with our clasped hands that it felt like a sexual overture to her and made her uncomfortable. I just thought it was an affectionate gesture.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
