Some minor bumps here. Injured my leg pretty bad at work in January. After months of physical therapy, I'm scheduled for surgery in the next few weeks. My brother has a remodeling project going on. I felt bad about not helping, even though he understood and even said not to help due to my injury. I still went over there this past weekend to help. Big mistake. It hurts like I re-injured it. That was Friday. We didn't finish until Sunday morning. I have been borderline evil cranky. I'm trying hard but it keeps bubbling up. I have zero patience, every step hurts and the pain killers are doing absolutely zilch. I should have listened.
Friday night, get a call from a buddy asking if I still want the apartment. She overhears, I was downstairs, she must have come down the stairs in ninja mode, I never heard her and to be honest, probably didn't even think about how she would react if she heard the conversation. This led to a minor R talk when I came upstairs. I finally lost whatever tiny bit of a grip I had on things at that point and said, "look, I just need to know, I know what you have said, whatever, the paperwork is drawn up, everything is in place, I just don't have the money to file right now. I know it's what you want, I don't want it, but at some point I just have to accept that this is what you want".
That was basically the end of the conversation. She gets up and goes into the bathroom, comes out after a few moments naked and jumps me. WTF?!?!
I actually tried to resist for a good 10 minutes. We had a wrestling match of sorts. Me telling her she is insane, she just finished telling me how much she can't stand me, now this? Give me a break. What? So she can twist this into some sort of sexual assault type thing? No way. I'm not that stupid. I'm holding her down telling her to knock it off, this is insane. She bruises easily, so I said, how are you going to explain the bruises tomorrow? This is nuts, you are going to be all marked up, this is not good. She said, "if I would have done this 45 minutes ago, we would be falling asleep now".
Saturday was more peaceful. She took the kids to a cousins birthday bash. I went to help my brother some more, (another big mistake, knee was really hurting now). We both got home late, yet things remained peaceful. I was a hurting puppy at this point. My knee was huge and I couldn't bend it at this point.
Sunday, more of the same. She went to church. She was leading 2 songs, the kids went with her. I went to my brothers and then we met up in the afternoon at my nieces graduation party. Again, things seemed okay. A friend was at the party that knows our situation remarked that W seemed to be okay with me, friend even said, "what gives?". I told her I just take it a day at a time.
We didn't get home until late. We had TIVOd the Sopranos so we watched that. Didn't get done until 1AM. I was in more pain than I have been since the original injury. It sucked. I couldn't sleep. Another friend calls, he had called several times during the day but we kept playing phone tag. I answered and he asked a few things about renting a property from his mother. Bad timing, in a quiet bedroom at 1AM, W can hear both sides of the conversation. I was 1/2 out of it from pain killers and the last few days efforts. I told him I would call him Monday, that I needed to get to sleep. Hung up and W starts in again, into a R type talk, I kept falling asleep though so it was cut short.
Long story short. Last night was starting to go the same way, only this time it was starting up earlier in the day. It didn't take a rocket scientist to calculate the direction the night was going to go unless we came to some sort of cease-fire agreement. I pulled her aside and said, 'Listen, I know I'm cranky, I'm really trying my best. My knee hurts a lot worse than I thought it would, lets just be cool. I'll do my best not to be a dick, and you try not to respond if I am. I know that's not fair, but it will keep things peaceful'.
No go. W launches into how I'm doing it again. I'm keeping her up all night, I'm emotionally abusive, mentally abusive, not letting her sleep, beating her down. I let her talk. Made the mistake of saying, 'you know I'm in a lot of pain and stress right now, yet you don't even care to ask about it. How about this, pretend I'm (friend that she spends all this time with)maybe then you could actually show some concern. If you knew she had so much as a hangnail, you'd be on the phone for hours with her or trying to get her to come over so she can get away for a bit, what a load of crap'.
Yeah, I know. That felt great to say, but was stupid. Funny thing is, at 1145PM her cell rings and its this friend in crisis mode. Imagine that. W ends up talking to her until 1230AM. Even so, sometimes being right isn't worth the damage. I was dead asleep when her friend called, it woke me up. I was so tempted to make a smartass comment, it almost came out to. I was in a pretty good fog at that point due to the painkillers and physically being so tired from the project. The words came into my head, 'good thing she has you to talk to when she is in crisis mode'. Thankfully, I just went back to sleep.
Well, that's about it for now. Hopefully I didn't set myself back too far, in both regards. The R and my injury.
