It's not fair to your kids to lie to them either. They'll know. If and when the separation occurs they need to know, not all the details, but enough to make their own decisions. If they decide to hate their mother you need to coach them on forgiveness but do not lie to them and say it's a mutual decision. It's not. She doesn't want to be married based on her action and activities. Period. You and the kids are family. I still don't see why you think you need to leave. Hmmm...get that separation agreement and get her out as quickly as possible. Let the sycophant care for her.
