I've got to the point that I don't even want to discuss my situation with friends or family anymore. Most think I should seriously think about filing D, but I'm not ready. I guess I want him to do it if it's going to be done. I just come here to journal and get advice from everyone, it has been a lifesaver for me.
I am with you here Yoyo. My parents would never speak to H again so I can't even tell them unless we do D. My 4 closest friends have definate opinions so I actually haven't spoken to a couple of them in a few months. They upset me too much when i do! A couple of others are supportive but I feel really stupid when I talk about everything I've put up with. AT least people here understand.. If nothing else, we all have experienced the same emotions.. Yes.. Thanks everyone
LO, I too have supportive friends, but they are also angry at him for what he has put me through. I have others that I know think I'm crazy for putting up with this for all of these months. I think about what they say about it taking more time depending on the length of your marriage. Since I've been married over twenty years, I'd hate to think this could take almost two years. Patience is something I have to work hard on, although I've gotten so much better. I also have gotten to the point that I feel like I'm whining when I discuss things with them. At least on here we all know the DB slang and gain insight from each other. I don't know what I would do without all of you.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
My mother passed away almost 12 years ago, so my Dad is all I have. He lives out of state so we don't see each other much but communicate a lot by email and phone.
He sent me the sweetest card today. It so fits my life right now and I'm sure all of you out there so I want to share it. It certainly brought tears to my eyes, so get your tissue out.
It's going to be okay...Hang In There
It's going to be okay. Just give things a little time. And in the meantime... keep believing in yourself; take the best of care; try to put things in perspective; remember what's most important; don't forget that somone cares; search for the positive side; learn the lessons to be learned; and find your way through to the inner qualities... the strength, the smiles, the wisdom, and the optimistic outlook that are such special parts of you. It's going to be okay. It know it will be. Because I know you. ~Barin Taylor~
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
So we all have the same situation.....Can that be real? Yesterday I finally stood my ground and said no more. He has made his choice and I have to make mine. He told me that we had been done for a long time. He really cares for OW so I just said fine its your choice. This morning he called and said that he admired me for taking a stand and making a decision. He said he wasn't man enough.....He just didn't want to be the bad guy. He said he still loved me but couldn't live with me...In a way today has seemed alot more relaxed. I have a little anxiety once in awhile but he probably called and tried to call at least 10 times to day to check on me and tell me that he will not abandon me...(Isn't that what he is doing by his choice to leave?) ONe good point is the OW cleaned his 5th wheel while he was at the other job. She threw out all my stuff. So I told him yesterday that she had done. He kept saying she wouldn't do that and I said all vindictive woman like her would. This moning I get the call that he was apologizing because not only had she thrown my stuff but some of his...His quote "maybe All the glitter might not be gold" I was furious about her doing that. I think that showed a different light to him.
I decided I am standing my ground. He has treated me not nice at times and wanted out so I told him becareful what you wish for. I think today he kinda thought about that.
Yoyo That is really touching what your dad did for you. I also appreciate being able to talk to you guys like yoyo after 25 years ofmarriage and alot of relatives and friends can't believe I stayed. He even said he can't believe I stayed.
Hang in there all of you .HUGS for everyone for being strong...
Let me share something special about my Dad with you all. He is not my biological dad. My father was killed when I was a baby so I never knew him. My mother married my step-father when I was 9 and he adopted me when I was 10. Every time I hear that song by Brad Paisley "The Dad you didn't have to be", I think of him. He has always been such a rock for me. He has always been such a kind and caring man. They always say that little girls want to grow up and marry a man just like their dad, well I didn't get that lucky. My mother has been dead for almost 12 years now and he is remarried,still he has been there for me.
One day my D told me they were talking in the dorm about what kind of man they wanted to marry. One of the girls said "everyone wants to marry someone like their dad." My D said "I don't." They said why? She said "he never talks to us and always seems he is in a bad mood." One of her guy friends who worked for my H last summer said "you know it is so weird, because at work he is always laughing and cutting up." My D said to me " Do you know how bad that hurt me to know that he was in a better mood around his workers than us." Isn't that a sad testimonial coming from an 18 year old about their dad? My H and I never fought he just stayed secluded a lot from the family, he would always go in the bedroom to watch tv when the girls and I were in the den watching tv. My D told me "it doesn't seem a lot different without him here anyway because he never spent any time with us hardly anyway."
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
That's where my heart is really hurt. I look at my 5 kids and realize I cannot prevent them from living in a broken home if my wife should choose to leave me.
