Should I just suck it up and accept the cr*p sex as the new baseline of normal? Baltoman, my W had the hysterectomy back in the dark ages. I think the King was Henry something? Then she had a breast lumpectomy (beginning breast cancer about 10 years ago.
So, she has had her fair share of medical, hormonal, body image issues to re-evaluate and find new normal. A lot of what you posted sounds sadly familiar.
I tried to put myself in BB's place while considering what was important to me. I don't know if that can be done very well.
Yes, there is a new normal. It might not be the one your W is presenting or feels like it is the only one she has to offer.
In the beginning of most R's, each person gives based strongly on good feelings. As problems arise and medical issues increase, along with a lot of other issues, the good feelings we once had change and doing some things based on good feelings, just isn't there.
A person has to learn to give based on doing what is the right thing and what other people need or can give.
Asking others for something is similar. Ask based on what they want to give and what they have to give.
Maybe the new normal is less than you will be satisfied with when compared to the old normal. Maybe your W needs to do several things based on your needs and her abilities, and less of what she feels like giving or doing.
Sometimes a good job/employer becomes a lot less desirable than when we first started working there. Maybe most people in the industry have taken slight pay cuts. Maybe the owners are not making as high a profit as they once did.
You still go to work, the owners open the business every work day because it is the right or necessary thing to do based on current conditions.
Then she had a breast lumpectomy (beginning breast cancer about 10 years ago.