Are you being a selfish jerk? Maybe a little but with good intentions.
You told your wife you want the old wife back and she cried. Jeez if that wasn't saying TOTALLY the wrong thing I dcan't think of anything more hurtful from a womans POV.
Try to imagine how you'd feel if your penis had just been cut off because you had cancer and your wife said she wanted the old you back. How do you think you'd feel? Get the picture?
Now obviously you love your wife and its great that you want to give her pleasure. Nothing wrong with that its finding the way to break down the barriers of what turns her on now.
It will probably take longer now you've shattered her self confidence as to whether she's a real woman after her hysterectomy. When a woman loses her womb she feels the loss of never being able to have children. Even if she didn't want more kids even going through the menopause can give a woman a sense of loss at that ability.
I would apologise for being an insensitive jerk let her know you didn't mean to hurt her and see her as a beautiful and desirable woman. Take things slow at first if she's always been a bit reserved might take longer for her to overcome her fears re whats dirty and whats okay. Give her long massages with no expectations for yourself. Kiss her passionately during the day not just in bed. Generally build up her desire levels. Try to show her that anything is okay in the bedroom and you get so much pleasure yourself from making her come. You really want her to feel pleasure too.
From my own POV I'm not always bothered if I have an orgasm or not. If I do great if I don't great. I enjoy the physical closeness either way. I love sometimes just giving pleasure to my H makes me feel good so on one level I can see why it is important to you too. Just gone the wrong way of explaining this time.
Sorry if I've beaten you up a bit here and know you meant well.
