Hi Advice Needed

Given time your gf might find a way to be a good spouse. I dont think she is a 'bad girl' a 'bad person' or anything like that. I do think what she chooses to be attracted to and what she respects are entirely differant things, and only she can choose to meld them or continue to hold them seperate and disrespect what and how she chooses to attract men. I understand your attraction for her.

However... .... you two have a dynamic that was set up early on. perceptions. behaivior patterns.
You cant 'help' her figure it out, or unfortunately even 'be there' for her, in the hopes that she does. She will not respect you for that. It may not make sense, it may not be fair, it just is. IMO. You have allready figured out where some, most of your weaknesses were. Youve done a good job (obviously from the results) of fixing them, working on them.

I dont think you should 'run away'. I do think you should stick to your original plan when you came here and see where it goes . For both of you. If you can do it with graciousness, kindness, detached loving, it would be great for both of you.
If you stay though, you will always, always, have to handle her like the a water moccasin. Its possible. Some people like doing that. some people are born and raised that way, and dont know anything else. Some people just want living trophies behind glass.
If you relax, make a mistake, or let down your vigil though, your gonna get bit. That is not the snakes fault. You knew it was a snake.

Is that how you want in a spouse?

Only by demonstrating boundaries do you get respect. It has to be consistant. Getting to a breaking point and then implementing them either out of neccesity or feeling forced to, is not an effective use of boundaries. Its bad for your over all well being.
If you want a differant dynamic you gonna have to reset it. There are many ways to do that externally. The only important one is in you. I can tell from what you write, that hasnt happened. That is not an incrimination, or a rebuke.
Now is a better time to do it than several years from now.
Its not easy. I wish you the best.