Confused after D

[Confused_in_AZ]

Hey buddy....sorry and glad to see you here. Bad about the D, good that things seem to be turning around.

I don't know if I can offer much other than support and what I have tried to do thus far. As Jeff said, I think I am where you are at in this process. You can catch my threads all over the boards. I try to stay with one but bounce a bit.

My XW is, what I and others believe in that feeling out stage. That the D was supposed to solve all of her problems, but when it really comes down to it, it didn't. That the problems lie with her. Now she is starting to wake up to what she has done and maybe thinking about returning to try again. Not sure, but that is what it seems is going on with yours. Feeling you out.

Here is my advice, or at least the game plan that I am going to follow. As I have done for almost the past year now (D was final Aug 06), I have created a life for myself. We don't have any kids so I don't have to see her. For the past year, she has been the one to initiate. Due to my recent developments, I plan on asking her out on a date this weekend. Probably will call tomorrow. My plan is to take it slow. Again, using DB principles, act as if.....go out, have a good time. Act like it is a first or second date. Certainly not bringing up a relationship or anything like that.

I think that would be a good step for you. Not only does it show her your interest, but it also will give you a chance to feel her out too. My fear is getting hurt again too. But part of relationship is putting your heart at risk. You know her well.....if you if things are going well or not....if you are pushing or not.

This board is a great place to get some feedback too! We have a pretty close group here right now that are always willing to give something.

Sorry for going long, but wanted to give you background.

Let us know if there is anything that we can do!