Hey H&A, maybe God sent you here to learn how to cope better. Don't over look the small miracles because they don't come with a host of heavenly bodies. Help will come in many ways. Sometimes god works through the hands of a skilled surgeon and sometimes he works in the advice of a fellow traveler. Just consider that this is where you need to be and relax, you didn't get here in one day and you won't go home in one either.