Just getting back from counseling with my W. It went better then I anticipated, but there was no break through moments. We where able to talk and actually laughed together outside the C office on our way out.
As for our session. I learned a little bit more about how I have not meet my W emotional needs. Basically when she has brought up pains/emotions/just trying to connect I came across as brushing them off, trying to fix them and sweeping them under the rug. She gave an example with my 5D the other day. She went next store to play with friends and got her feelings hurt. My 5D came to me and I comforted her and then diverted her attention. My W mentioned that she was still hurt and that I never really dealt with that hurt I just tried to move on and ignore. It is not that I tried to ignore my D needs I just did not see any good coming from me going next door to yell at her friends. I comforted my 5D and tryed to show her that her feelings where OK. Ladies please tell me what I should have done differently? Should I have walked her over to her friends and talk to them or was comforting her and diverting her attention onto something else OK. Her counseler told us that we are the only two that can heal each other. This pain/hurt that we both have can only be addressed by the two of us working together. She also talked alot about Eph 5:25 Love and respect. She told us no matter what we need to love and respect each other, even when we are not together. I found it interesting with a D hanging over our heads that she kept saying that we are the only two that can make each other whole/healed again. We talked a bit about our girls and how we should handle our sitch with them. C also said that it is up to us to raise our girls in a healthy home(not homes). I am not sure if her counsler is trying to get my W to see that we can be M and in a loving relationship or even divorced we can provide this stability to our girls lives. Not really sure, the message wasn't really clear. C also told us that throughout our M that my W and I where like two ships passing in the night. We both had the best intentions on making this M work we just did not have the education/skills on making that happen. She said if we did counseling earlier in our M we most likely would not be in the place that we are in today. She also mention another passage from Eph talking about having no unwholesome talk coming from the two of us and that we needed to use uplifting words to each other.
We are going back next week together, which is what I was hoping for. My next hope is for another session after that and so on... We will see. She is my W C and my W can pull the plug at anytime if she see's fit.
Another thing that I learned is that the papers that my W filed are up on mySpace. I guess one of her highschool girls found it online and posted it on her mySpace page. I had no idea this happened.
Also, our court date might not occur. We both think that through our dissolution that everything should for the most part stay status quo. So I have no problems signing off on that. I see my L on wednesday and have a few custody questions that I would like addressed. Other then that I am doing well.
