Almost 8 months and counting

[Yoyowife]

Theoden,

My daughters are older. One just turned 16 and the other turned 19 yesterday.

You are so right on about what most of us in this situation go through. Narcissm is my H's middle name. I have even had friends tell me that how people all over town are talking about how he changed so much and how arrogant he is. They can't believe his throwing and his family like that and risking our business like that. We LBS do fear the unknown. We have lost the love of our life and are lonely and know that our lovers are in somone else's arms. There is definitely a fine line between love and hate.

After the moving incident I have a strong resolve to stay away from him. Oldest D just left to go out to dinner with him for her b-day. Youngest D chose to go watch a baseball game over him. It is sad, but he is losing her. To her right now he is just money or calls when she needs him to do something. It's his fault he should have been spending time with her all of this time, but he hasn't. He doesn't even have a proper place to live. He has a bed set up in one of his spare offices, so how is she supposed to spend the night with him. Everytime I have gone out of town I have asked him to keep an eye on her for me, but she always talked big sis into coming home from college to stay with her.

Goal,
You are right our situations are so similar. We both recieved our bombs within weeks of each other and the length of relationships are the same, unreal. It sounds like you are doing a good job, keep it up. I recently read Andy V's thread and he talked about what he is thankful for, it opened my eyes. I'm trying to dwell on the wonderful things in my life and not H's problem, which I have no control of.

Unbroken,
I didn't tell him I was going dark, I just started cutting back on communication dramatically and like you said he is doing the same. Right now I don't know where this is going, but I am trying my best to be the best person and mother I can be.

Everyone,
I've got to the point that I don't even want to discuss my situation with friends or family anymore. Most think I should seriously think about filing D, but I'm not ready. I guess I want him to do it if it's going to be done. I just come here to journal and get advice from everyone, it has been a lifesaver for me.

Thanks everyone,
Yoyo