she filed and im scared!

[Dom R]

nothig i do seens good enough for her. i dont know what im doing wrong.

Well, how about this right here...

i left 5 times then returned hoping thing would change. she says "you keep leaving me for her " and in a moment of anger i told her "NO! i keep leaving her for you."

WOW.

Yeah, she hasnt treated you the way you wanted in your marriage.

but she didnt cheat on you.

you've treated her MISERABLY.

For starters, i would think she'd want to hear you say, that you believe you were 100% wrong in what you did, and you would never do it again.

If you dont believe that... then you're not going to have a good marriage anyway.

your timeline is rather confusing. "19 years ago you separated". Umm.. and then reunited? or you've been separated for 19 years? or...?

If you want to reunite with your wife, you've got a long (years) road ahead of you, from all the damage you've done to her trust, sounds like.
decide whether you are ready for that.

For someone who thought he was entitled to shack up with another woman to teach your wife a lesson... MULTIPLE TIMES... doesnt sound like you would be.

I wouldnt be surprised if your wife is on some other self-help forum somewhere, and people are telling her, "he left you 5 times??? dump his butt and get someone better!"

i have always truely loved my wife. she just had a hard time returning the favor.

you may have felt that way.. but I'm betting you didnt do a very good job *showing her* that.
I'd say you need to work on the "showing" part.


PS: press "return" once in a while