Naked in the Cabbage Patch

[MJontheMend]

The more difficult part for me is once the sex happens and it is good, other feelings of atachment start to grow.

Well, frequently that is the case but sometimes not. You can have relationships in which the sex is great but the bond just isn't there for the same reason that all the lame sex but strong bond relationships exist on this BB. The desire to care for or be cared for by somebody isn't necessarily linked to the desire to f*ck somebody's brains out. In fact, I think much of what Schnarch has to say has to do with dealing with the conflicts that arise when the two are linked. In some ways it is easier to be sexual when you are secure in a relationship but in other ways it is easier to be sexual when you aren't secure. Just about everybody has variants on the "stranger in the elevator" fantasy. What if you knew that you were going to be with a woman just for one night and then never see her again? Can you see how the fact that you couldn't possibly form a pair-bond might make the sex hotter, less inhibited?