That is great news that your H has ended it w/ OW!! I am w/ you, why is it that when we r finally in a good place of detachment and ready to move on, thats when our SO pull us back? I dont have much to say b/c my H is trying slowly to move back in, but his GF is out of town so I am trying to not get my hopes up incase he is just using me for the time being while she is gone. My thread locked up a while back so I am now under newcommers and a lot of drama has been going on up until recently. I hope w/ OW out of town my H can think more clearly.
Of course, I should have never trusted my H. He had a soul searching moment for one day and now has decided that he is going to move in with OW. She has stated that she has doubts about being a step-mom to 3 children. My H doesn't care. He convinces her that it will be okay. I am now fighting full custody for my kids. I cannot have my kids living with someone that has doubts. Also, my H said that he didn't really mean the things that he said, that he meant it as closure. He is absolutely crazy. I wish he was out of my life, but i know that I am stuck with him because of the kids. I just cannot wait for our court date. We have it on Aug. 2.
Gracey, I'm so sorry, believe me we have all gone through it. My H told me we needed to work on us to. He came home for about a week and then left. He really tried hard...
Please document everything he is telling you about the OW not wanting to be a step-mom. I know you are doing a wonderful job of being a mother to the kids. Unfortunately, right now it seems we have to take on both parent roles while they go through their teenage years again.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
It seems to be going around guys. My H tells me he will be moving back and also tells my D10 this pst Sunday on the way to droppping them off that he wants to move back home & b/c he does not want to be at Ow's, yeah sure!! In that case is she holding him aginst his will w/ a gun aginst his head???? On the same day I broke out in tears and poured my heart and suoul (this is the first tiem I have done that since the bomb back in 9/06! and he still did not return . I always remember that my dad died while H was out of the country on business and I told H u won't even spend these few days over here knowing you will be away. Maybe the sweet Lord will take me like he did my father.This was be email and he told me to stop. I was just sad not wanting to put the guilt on him really.
What is this hold/curse these Ow have on our H's???
I don't know, but I think the hold they have them is sickening. My H said that the OW has helped him become a stronger person and that he wants to be with her and she will be a part of our children's lives. I told him that he is crazy to think that i will let another woman be with my children, one that has helped in breaking up our family and one that has doubts about being a step-mom. I will fight for my children and I will fight until the end. My H is crazy and his lies are driving me crazy. Right now, I just want him to leave me alone. I told OW things that he said to me, and if she doesn't realize what lies he makes, then she will only find out the hard way. I think they are both crazy. Once again, thank you everyone for input. It really does feel good that others understand.
I have had no contact except for kids with H since the last incident. I am completely finished with him and her. They both make me sick. The sad thing is that my H has not been honest with her about what he told me and she is okay with that. My H is a very confused, lost soul. The less I have interaction with him the better for me. It will be interesting to see how the next few months will play out.
Gracey, I'm sorry to see things have not gotten any better for you. My situation is worse also, he filed for D. I believe you are correct saying that your H is a confused, lost soul, my H is a member of that club also.
I too do better when there is no interaction between us. The only problem I have is when he calls our DDs on their cell phones and I'm with them. It still gets to me.
The OW will do anything to win our hubands and believe everything. They also convince our husbands that they belong with them, and sadly our husbands can't see that they are ripping their families apart.
Good luck with your marathon training, I think that's great. You're a great person, hold on to your faith.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Thank you so much YoYo. It is true about the OW tearing the families apart, not just the H. He is so blind to her manipulations. The sad thing is, is that when he does realize it (if he ever does), it will be when he has lost everything. I wish you the best for you and your DD's. This is just so awful that our kids have to go through this as well. I keep telling myself that God wanted this to happen when it did, because my babies are only 17 months old and that they won't know any different from being at mom's and seeing dad for visitations. Right now, my H goes 8 days without seeing them or not even calling or texting to see how they are doing. Right now, this bothers me the most........keep up with what you are doing YoYo and thanking for all your sharing. It really helps me.
Gracey, Honestly, it's so hard for me to believe that a parent would think OP was more important than being there to see their children's milestones. If I was the spouse who was having feelings of being unhappy I would try to so hard to get it right. The Bridges Of Madison County comes to mind, she had a intense romance, but in the end realized that her family was too important to her. My children are young adults. I don't see how their father can look them in the eye. He has never admitted the affair to them, but he knows they know. My youngest D has got the mindset now that her father owes her for what he has put her through. I would be lying if I said that doesn't bring me some personal satisfaction on some level, but also I realize that she deserves to have her dad in her life. He does put out some effort, but right now all she sees him for is to get money. Sad, that's how she feels right now. She was going to go see him last Sat. night and he said he was "just riding around and wouldn't be back until late." She was so hurt, she immediately said he is lying. Who knows if he was telling the truth, but she just doesn't have much faith in him now. So you are right about it being a blessing of your children being babies, but they definitely need a strong male figure in their lives. Maybe he will step up one day and be that person.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I hope and pray every night that he does. They are just babies and he has missed so much of there life as it is. Even when I was home, he was either out (w/OW) or doing other things that besides being with us. It's so sickening. I just don't understand his thinking.
