just wanted to pop in and give a quick update. H was out of town on business, the first time since everything happened. Returned last night. I bought him some of his favorite cookies and candy and tried to sneak them into his suitcase. He found them when he was packing, but still said thank you, of course. Said he appreciated the thought. We have been getting along much better. He did not call quite like he said he would when he was gone, but I think his reasons were very valid. I was irritated to hear that his boss "always wants to watch porn." After reading some things on here, I casually mentioned porn in hotel rooms and he surprised me by confirming that yes, his boss wants to watch it every trip. He doesn't even ask, just turns it on. H said it really irritated him because he saw porn as more of a prelude to either sex or masturbation at least, not something for two guys to sit in a hotel room and watch, just because they're off on business. (I do recall now that H said he always wanted to go to strip clubs, but H's lack of interest dissuaded him from bringing it up after a while.)
Anyhow, when he came home, spirits were good and one of our kids was with grandma (out of state for 2 days) so we put the other one to bed and had some great sex. I offered to do one of the OTHER things from the list (that's 2.5 out of 3). He wasn't able to make it work right then, he was very hot and turned on though (so don't know why) so we had fun without that part. I asked him on the phone today why he wouldn't let me, he said his body just wasn't cooperating and he wanted to do something else, quickly followed with, "there will be PLENTY of other opportunities for that." I am really trying to make him happy and in effect, make myself happy. I still struggle with all the feelings of entitlement and expectations. Whatever happened to being "treated like a queen"? It seems that as girls we are sort of taught this. I think I personally always had very reasonable expectations about Valentine's Day, chivalry, helping around the house, so I always thought I was not asking too much. I still get irritated if I think too hard about where we were at when he did his little email fling. I came on here to write a little bit to get myself ready for an individual counseling session tonight. The counselor has basically said she'll do whatever we want, but thinks maybe we will accomplish more alone, since we seem to be going into all this he said/she said, rehashing fights since the last visit, trying to prove we're right.
I am really trying to make him happy and in effect, make myself happy. I still struggle with all the feelings of entitlement and expectations. Whatever happened to being "treated like a queen"? It seems that as girls we are sort of taught this. I think I personally always had very reasonable expectations about Valentine's Day, chivalry, helping around the house, so I always thought I was not asking too much. I still get irritated if I think too hard about where we were at when he did his little email fling. I came on here to write a little bit to get myself ready for an individual counseling session tonight. The counselor has basically said she'll do whatever we want, but thinks maybe we will accomplish more alone, since we seem to be going into all this he said/she said, rehashing fights since the last visit, trying to prove we're right.
