Cadesmom34 Lou, don't know you, but do have some affection for you & BB all the same. Thanks CDM34
I wish she would be willing to make some changes and put some effort into your SL. BB thinks she is putting in effort. Comparing her mental POV about sex and what she will do, then that would be called effort by some people.
Unfortunately, if she's NOT willing to make any changes whatsoever, just like Cemar & AC (W?), then there are decisions to make and I know you have chosen to stay and pray like mad According to BB she did make changes by reducing her shopping addiction by 75%. That is her POV of making changes.
I still would have to wonder if she really "gets it."
We were at a gathering and one female friend said, "once a person is old enough for social security, early retirement benefits (62) sex should automatically stop. The lady ~56 ish, is upset Viagra an insurance covered drug and that it exists, and that birth control pills are not covered by some insurance plans.
That was more radical than BB would say, but it rings true with some/many women./BB think.
It broke my heart to hear my H say he actually felt rejected by me not wanting or not having sex w/ him. I never realized that's how he felt or that's how it made him feel. Yes I can imagine all that from both sides. Like I said, I am so glad you got the message.
If you heard “don’t come to visit him in the local hospital if he was injured/seriously ill,” what would you feel. I ask because I think when I said about that to BB, it was a clear message about feeling very detached. I also felt it was mean spirited. I didn’t intend to be cruel or mean spirited. I thought about the possibility of something serious happening and what would I do if it happened. Sort of like hearing you have 5 years to live and being asked what you wanted to do with your last five years.
General: Tired, over worked, not in the mood: I realize women have lots to do and many things seem to be more important than the M and the M relationship.
I think I could convince BB sex is a very important part of “my M” to her. I know she knows it is for me. She understands intellectually fairly well but isn't interested herself or believes it isn’t really that important. She sees sex as a mans want and sort of need but as something women don't like to do, and something women have to pay lip service to because men are self centered.
Yes, I can do more and more things on my own. That might work. I could say I want a trial sep. That might work. Until I find a solution or limit I will continue to fix up the house and sell my business inventory. When my business things are gone and a few more remodel projects are done, I am going to find serious away from home activities.
