So how do you explain that to a ND person and do it in way that is not overwhelming, that is achievable, that is not NEEDY, that is not asking them to completely change who they are? In reality, what I would be asking (from her perspective) is OVERWHELMING, is NEEDY, is probably NOT achievable, and IS askig her to completely change.
In reality, I would be asking her to be HD.
CeMar I didn't ask you what you want...I've asked you repeatedly what you've said.
You keep giving yourself excuses not to talk to your own wife. If you are concerned with "overwhelming an ND person" you are protecting her from her own reactions/feelings....don't do that. Tell her YOUR feelings, let her deal with her own...those are her responsibility not yours. YOUR responsibility is to tell her flat out how YOU feel...and I mean bare your feelings to her. TALK TO YOUR WIFE.
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So how do you explain that to a ND person and do it in way that is not overwhelming, that is achievable, that is not NEEDY, that is not asking them to completely change who they are?
Well, you start by opening YOUR mouth and saying "We need to talk, I have some things I need to say...I need you to listen to me." If for some reason you won't do that...you've got to stop blaming her for the problems....because IF you won't do that, you are as much a part of the problem as she is...there's no way getting around that. It is not your job to protect your W from her reactions to what you have to say...it is not your job to act as the buffer during difficult discussions either. Say what is on your mind, tell her how you FEEL.
