Rob #8 - Never Losin' Sight

[Rob1231]

Hi SD, Well, I've been very fortunate, in that OM lives 2 hours north of here and I have not seen him once since this whole thing started. Not sure what I would do if I ever did bump into him - I guess it depends on what kind of weapons were handy and if there were any witnesses (just kidding... mostly!) Honestly, I am grateful for not having to deal with him - I can't imagine how difficult that would be. I have managed to forgive W, but I'm not so "amazing" that I think I will ever forgive that SOB.

Which is a good lead-in to my latest update. First, a little history:

For my birthday in late April, W had planned to take me on a nice weekend getaway that included riding bikes on one of our favorite bike paths, up near Cleveland. Due to scheduling, that got delayed and delayed. Well, that got put off for one reason or another (little did I realize what was brewing) and finally got rescheduled as a ride only (no romantic getaway) on June 9.

Well, that afternoon, there were thunderstorms and we just went out to dinner, where W was really acting weird and - to make a long story shorter - I got bombed that night.

One more thing, I later learned that W's trips to that same bike trail with her "just friend" OM were more than friendly.

OK, so, jump ahead to this weekend - with Saturday being the 1-year anniversary of The Bomb.

I had done a pretty good job of talking myself out of being down about the anniversary thing, and W and I were making plans for the weekend. I wound up spending most of Saturday staining the deck (something W really wanted done - and Acts of Service is her #1 LL so I felt good about that.)

Sunday, we had to drive a couple of hours to take D15 to a band camp up near Cleveland, and W suggested that we take advantage of being just a few miles from the bike trail near there. Yes, THAT bike trail. Now, in the back of my mind, all sorts of stuff went on - did she realize the anniversary thing? If so, what did that mean? etc. etc. etc. Before long, I succeeded in putting up the ol' STOP sign and just taking it for a nice day out with W.

And we did have a really nice time, with one little incident. We drove to a bike shop/snack bar on the trail and were getting ready to go, when a familiar figure came around the corner. A guy with dark hair and glasses who we both knew. For about two seconds, my mind totally overloaded - I was just SURE that it was OM! Then he came a little closer and I realized that it was a DIFFERENT dark-haired, glasses-wearing biker we knew, the dad of one of D15's schoolmates. It took me a sec to regain my composure, then all was cool. Whew! So, to answer your question, SD - I learned that I honestly have NO IDEA how I would deal with that scumbag if I ever encountered him, other than those two seconds of utter mind-numbing panic. I'm afraid that's probably not too helpful... I'll hop over to your thread and we can continue this topic there, OK?

The other thing going on this weekend was that W was struggling with feeling down through a lot of it - a combination of job stress and monthly hormonal crashing. I felt like I did great with keeping my PMA up, listening & validating, and offering suggestions for how she might handle the job stuff without crossing the line and 'fixing'. Feeling good today!