Personally, I would tell her that until you have split the money she needs to stop bringing you these 'can I get this house!? I love it' requests because this is not your problem.
You're not her friend. You can tell her that you won't be friends because it is unrealistic. You'll be friendly and coordial, but she has forfeited her privileges as 'wife' and 'friend'.
That's reality. Tell her she needs to go rent an apt until you have settled the finances and to STOP telling you about houses she 'just loves'. Tell her this isn't what you want, but you realize that there is nothing left here and you need to move forward with your own life and are not responsible or willing to deal with HER life.
Be a man on this one. She needs to get the reality that you are not there to enable her fantasies.
