I told her that we differ on a definition of what is family....to me.it's nuclear with two loving parents under one roof. She thinks it will be hunkdory if she splits, we're still family...even her L said that if she seps, "nothing changes". Bah humbug.
I agree with your definition of family. My W also feels that not much will change being divorced. She is planning out her new life much like her current, accept I am nolonger married to her. Rightnow the only way that my W is going to get a reality check is when we are finally apart and she can nolonger lean on me.
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As for the doc thing...let it go. I'm a surgeon...I get called out in the middle of the night...have to stress out seeing a Tball game and seeing a patient....the doctor shadow thing, etc. And forget the money thing. We're getting slammed with malpractice premiums.
I realize that life with this Doc is not going to be all that and have for the most part dropped the thoughts and feeling of this jerk being with my W. The hard thing is that he is the Pink Elephant in every interaction with my W.
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But ya wanna know something Em? What is life? What is this agreement that we all entered into? It's part of the game. You put your helmet on, dug in your cleats and you're still playing. They choose to run.
I agree we are the ones standing for what is right and playing the game even though it looks like we are getting slaughtered. We are the ones that are staying to our commitment no matter what the outcome of the game. Our S's are like the whining kid on the playground who complains...complains until he either quits or the other team lets him play on their side. This is the easy way out. This is truely running away. This is not who I want to be.
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Are they horrible people? No. Are they 'sick'? I don't think so..perhaps SOME are literally clinically depressed and making poor decisions. Did WE make a poor choice? Perhaps.
I agree 100%. At one point I thought my W turned evil or something along that line. She is not. She is actually a very caring and compasionette person that unfortunately for me was taken by some dude she works with. Does that make her horrible? No Does that make her human? absolutely. She has fallen into the same footsteps that a lot of people before her have. Heck she is following her fathers lead. Except he never left my MIL. Maybe I did make a poor choice in selecting my W. But that does not excuse me from the commitment that I made to her and God. I took my vows and meant to keep them no matter what life threw at me and us. My W on the other hand is looking for the easy way out.
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4kids on my thread talks about not doing yourself in with guilt and resentment. If.....IF...we chose wrongly, or, missed signs, how much do you blame yourself for it? How much do you learn from it and say...hell, I've learned and it's part of my history?
Did I miss signs? absolutely. Hindsite is 20/20. I know that I cannot beat myself up for what has already occured, I can only control what happens to me/my girls in the future.
Now for some of my thoughts on your tag line.
What is strength? Some would say that strength is physical. How strong is one, how far can they run, how far can one push themselves physically. I think most people measure strength this way. Sure this is one measure of strength, but real is only a small part of the equation. Strength to me is knowing who you are and sticking with that man no matter the circumstance. I haven't had much strength with my W over the years and have compromised myself to the point where I lost myself. Strength rightnow for me is finding out who that man is and not compromising him in anyway. What is honor? Most people honor war hero's, fireman, policeman, etc... They do amazing work for all of us and they should be honored for it. Honor like strength is more then just paying tribute to hero's. You honor youself, family, friends, work and God by knowing who you are and sticking to it. Honor is living a life with morals and integrity. Honor is not compromising your integrity.
That is a little about what strength and honor are to me. I had a lot more go through my head this weekend and should have wrote it down, hopefully I captured some of it here and it makes sense.
