Any ladies had a hysterectomy out there?

[Baltoman]

If so, how did it affect your drive? Your physical response? I believe my wife has physical issues but she refuses to do anything about it. Here is the scenerio: She had the hyst in February of 2006. She has a very old fashioned GYN that she trusts implicitly. He is a very caring doctor but I don't think he gives a whit for the sexual issues. Hell, the W did not even inquire until an hour before her surgery if she would be keeping her cervix. Just trying to paint the picture. Naive, shy wife. Old-fashioned doctor.

Anyway, on to the crux of the issue. Since her surgery she has had a problem with overly sensitive breasts. While she would occasionally have this before, now it is all the time. She cannot stand to have them touched. The biggest problem with that is it used to be the main thing that got her motor running, so to speak. She also has been unable to climax. She always had O's from IC and I believe they were more uterine than clitoral in nature. Now with the uterus being gone, that is gone as well. When I suggest that these issues may be physical she counters with the fact that she kept her ovaries and she should still be maintaining hormonal balances. Of course, she won't go get it checked out. To make matters worse, she has always been (with occasional, wonderful exceptions) overly reserved about what is and is not pleasurable in bed so it is difficult to try to work around these constraints. At the risk of being too graphic (yes I've been around here long enough to know better) she will reluctantly allow me to go down on her and the physical response is good but I think she thinks it is "wrong" and if she starts to like it too much she will pull me away with an almost panicked reaction like she is afraid she might O and that it would be "icky". I am getting tired of feeling like I am having sex in a mine field. Don't wander that way too much or this way too much... Don't touch her there! For God's sake, man what were you thinking?!? I told her a couple of nights ago and I probably worded this VERY wrong, but I said I want my old wife back. While we have always had differences of desired frequency, it always used to be great when we did get going. I want the woman I used to make love with for an hour or hour and 1/2 of meandering playfulness, not this goal oriented woman where making love is 15 minutes to get me to O so she can finish the laundry.

I cannot get her to understand that while it is her body, it is affecting our marriage. She says she enjoys sex. That while she doesn't O that it is "fine". Wow, nothing like being damned with faint praise to bolster the old ego. I even tried to get her to understand how incredibly depressing it is for me to contemplate the idea that at the age of 44 I may never experience a female having an orgasm again. Nothing seems to matter.

So, back to my questions. Anyone had a hyst? Did it affect you sexually? If so, what steps did you take to correct this? Should I just suck it up and accept the cr*p sex as the new baseline of normal? Am I just being a selfish jerk?