Hello all, I am a former poster who is back again looking for some insight and perspective. It's been awhile so I will try to find my old posts and link them on this thread (but if you want to look them up my name was sadmatt then it changed to happymatt)
RECAP: Me: 29 XW: 28 One Daugher 5 Married: 2001 Bomb: March 2005 Divorce Final: December 2005
Where to start? Quick recap: Wife and I married for 3.5 years, she drops the bomb on me and things don't work out between us. I DB my butt off the entire year before the divorce is final but it didn't work out. Ends up she was with OM and they ended up marrying/ moving in together 2 months after D finalized. He was abusive and she divorced him six months later.
I myself have been through hell, loosing my family, suffering from depression and loosing my job in the process, loosing my house not having that second income, most of my friends deserting me. Yet through it all I tried to continue to "DB" so I could be a better person through this. I filed for and was granted an annulment during this time as well.
After loosing my house, I moved in with my best friend to save money - he just happens to be the XW's twin's husband. So I get to see her more now.
I ended up feeling as if I had gotten to the point where i was over XW and would be fine no matter what. I ended up dating a wonderful young woman I met through work for six months, but ended that earlier this year becuase I just didn't have anything to give her.
My XW had been interested in someone she works with but I guess he had commitment issues. I have been in contact with her for our daughter, and she calls me as a friend for things (like calling me about the abuse etc). I have been nice to her but do not go out of my way to interact with her or call her unless it involves our D. We havn't fought about anything i can remember even.
For the last month or so, my XW has been acting real nice to me all the time, a definite difference in her interaction with me as compared to before. There is a definite change in her tone of voice when talking with me (seems much happier or or upbeat). She has stopped calling me by name and now is using my nickname from college or daddy. She has even stepped up the physical contact when she comes around or I drop off D. She now will touch my arm alot when talking to me, etc.
For memorial day she invited me over to her house for the family bbq. Afterwards she texted that she had fun hanging out and I was always family. This weekend I helped har other sister move into her new house, and she was still the same way, cheery, more touchy, even asking if we could get certain toppings on the pizza (like it depended on my opinion).
I am wondering if she is changing somewhat or if she is just being nice for a reason. I ask this because she had an interview in another state and talked about moving there. But still with this she came back and told me how beautiful it was and how much I would love it. Then she made comments how I could move out there with her and finish school.
I have found that I still love her with all my heart and I don't think that will ever change, and not just because of these changes. Yet I don't want to make something out of nothing and break my heart again. On the other hand I don't want to act indiferent if there are real changes and possibilities.
How do I move on now and act? Or do I wait and do nothing hoping she initiates (if so what if she thinks I moved on?)
This weekend I know there is an event with a ship that she would love. But I don't know about asking her if she is interested in going, or if something like that would scare her away (if thats the case).
I don't know what I'm looking for here really, i'm just getting scared more than anything with these changes. Thanks to anyone who responds!
