Hi, I have been dark for a week and now there is an adverse affect. I am losing my attraction to my STXH. Is this normal? It feels safe. Like it is making the separation easier but that frightens me because I want to continue to DBing. He has lost a lot of weight and it is a real turn off. He is also dressing very "metro" which is also a turn off. I do not think he is bi curious but his appearance is startling to me. Has anyone else's done this after their MLC?
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I happen to remember an old poster whose husband acted similarly after they separated. It CAN be a sign that a MLC is at hand, but there would have to be many other "signs" before you should make that assumption. And actually, you said "has anyone else's done this after their MLC"...so I would ask you what makes you think it was over in the first place, if that is indeed what your H is going through?
As for you not feeling he is attractive right now, that's not so bad I don't think. A lot of spouses act in ways that are unattractive so this would be along the same lines I think. Besides, did you just love his previous "look" or do you really love the man?
I am concerned about your "bi curious" remark. Is it his style of dress that makes you think he's leaning that way? I didn't realize there was a certain fashion trend out there that suggests a person swings both ways.
We'd need a lot more information before we could really understand and help you.
His appearance does not look like it would be attractive to a straight woman. He looks underweight around 130 lbs. He wears his clothing very tightly with heeled boots. And yes, he is hanging out with another divorced man who admitted to being bicurious. I have no idea what he does or who he sees. But more importantly, I feel embarrassed my his appearance.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I say just live your life as you have been, keep him prayer if you're a praying woman and decide whether or not you would ever accept him back if he takes a walk on that side of the tracks.
It would have been ten years this month yet we were together from our teens. We were each other's great loves, but adulthood proved to be too much to handle. Babies, mortgage, lay offs, etc. He is straight to me, but he is also very secretive. I feel like cheating and bisexuality would be deal breakers for me, but who knows? The weight loss was a huge catalyst to our separation. He would not speak to anyone about it and he called me a nag and paranoid. I think I insulted him when I told his parents to talk to him about it, so he left after that argument. He tells me he wants to stay best friends since we that is how we started 20 years ago as kids. I am praying wife although we are not religious and I appreciate prayers from my friends and neighbors.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I am confused, which you will find out is normal for me alot of the times. Are you wanting it to work or are you done, I haven't been able to figure that part out yet.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
That is the roller coaster part. I really do want to save my marriage and Bust the Impending Divorce, however, I am slowly giving up hope. For one reason, I find his weight loss unattractive and a source of mistrust. Maybe people who go through MLC do their own 180 and come out looking ridiculous to their spouses? I am not done.....yet. hopefully.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Same here 789. I've lost about 40pds since the Dbomb was dropped. Most is stress, but some is on purpose.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
