I just noticed you were marrried ten years ago, me too. Our ten year anniversary was slated for the end of the month and I started to weep today in the bakery when I realized it was the bakery where I order my wedding cake! Coincidence? Hmmm?
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
He knows, he asks pretty much every day. I/we do try to shelter him from what is going on, but when he asks me something like that I will not lie to him, I tell him I love her very much. He always tells me his mom tells him the same thing, but not sure if she does or just wants to keep him happy for the moment, I also assume she hears about me telling him that also.
I wish she was also around to hear him say that, I did not tell him after words to do it or not, I let it drop after giving him the hug. I am having thoughts of talking to him tommorrow about how sweet that was but that maybe he shouldn't any ideas?
I was happy in your other thread when you put down 130#, I do not even remember when I could of weighed that little, Jr High maybe
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
She told me she wanted a D, 3 or 4 days after our anniversary, I must say it was not the happiest time of my life, I knew prior that it was getting bad, but had no idea this bad at the time. You would have to go to my first thread which is on the first post here and read the first few pages, then it will click as why we/her are falling apart.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
LOL! I should not laugh because people actually suspect my STBXH may have something like Grave's Diseas or manorexia. Now I feel bad. Moving on. My daughter told me, as a matter of fact, that she knows that , "Daddy stopped loving you and that is why he had to move out. But you still love Daddy." He has know idea that she knows any of this. It must turn a child's world upside down when they internalize this. Even some of my toddler's first sentences are "Daddy love me, not you anymore?" I guess my older one has taught him that. Being 8 is such a sensitive time. They are forming all these social circles and seeing how they fit into a bigger picture at school. Relationships and friendships are a big deal.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
The worst part of the whole issue is the children. Right after we split was the hardest for me above anyone. My son in a complete and normal tone said one night in the very beginning of this,
"I want you to know that even though you are now my ex-daddy, I will still love you."
That was crushing, when I told my wife later that same night, she actually had the nerve to laugh. She shut up when I made the comment that if I am the ex-daddy, you must be the ex-mommy
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Ouch, but I may have laughed too without seeing the pain in that comment. Wow, out of the mouths of babes. My daughter told me I was never allowed to get married again but it was OK for Daddy to have another wife. They must get these messages from television, family history, or even the animal kingdom? My daughter kept noticing how Mama Bears were always with Baby Bears with no Daddy Bears around so I showed her the penguin movie where Daddies take care of the Babies too. Kids are resilient but divorce has real long term affects. That is the worst part.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Kids are resilient but divorce has real long term affects. That is the worst part.
I agree completely.
One thing that made me think how normal divorce is in today's world. When my W brought over next years admission paperwork for S's school, it did not have a spot for "parents" address, phone #, etc... It had a place for mother and a place for father, almost as if no one's parents live together.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Well overall an awesome weekend. Went to church sunday morning, that was a first for me, not sure if I will return or not, will have to wait and see. Went to the movies also on sunday, W even went with us.
It is getting wierd though, she told me to come over and do my laundry at her place, I am here now, while she is at work. We spent the better part of the weekend together doing things with our S. During this whole time, she is still acting as if nothing at all is going on or wrong, except no ILY or hugs or talk of R.
I guess I am wondering if this is her way of trying without actually saying that it is, my fear is that she is just wanting to remain friendly with it staying as is, which I guess could be worse.
I am getting nervous about next weekend and spending 3 days with her family, once again still not sure why the invite, but who am I to argue.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
I guess my main problem is that in my heart, I actually feel that she does want it to work. If so, I wonder why she isn't actually saying anything. I realize money is not a reason to stay together or leave, but what she is doing right now is driving us closer to bankruptcy everyday. If I am right that she does want it to work, even if we do not get back together for awhile, at least some communications on how to move forward without us living out of our cars.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Talk to her about finances then. Doesn't really have anything to do with your R (I mean indirectly it does, but not like asking her when you can come home).
It does show a level of responsibility on your part, just let her be part of the solution, don't solve everything for her.
Listen, understand, get to solutions together.
Good luck!!!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
