This tests your patience and faith.

[Optimus]

Well, I'm still alive - wife and I have been pysically separated now 8 months - we get along as friends - respectful and communicate and such.

I want to believe all will be well, but this is taking SO LONG!

I'm curious as to what others felt and thought after several months/years being separated?

It's loney being in a house all by yourself - having kids over when I do adds life.

Saw the kids tonight as wife and kids went to get groceries late at nite -

Well it's late, going to sleep ...

God bless you all.

My sitch http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=796252&page=0&fpart=7

[kikisum]

Hi Optimus-
i can tell you that my H and I were physically separated for 5 months and then he agreed to reconcile. this was evidently too soon. he was not ready yet, now i am back here, as he now desparately wants a divorce. my point here: don't rush it. even though you want to be home with your spouse, if she is not ready yet, things could get MUCH more complicated. if you were to go home with her now, it might actually be harder than living alone. the term "so close and yet so very, VERY far away" applies to the spouse that is not truly ready to reconcile.

[PON_dering]

Hi Optimus-
if you were to go home with her now, it might actually be harder than living alone. the term "so close and yet so very, VERY far away" applies to the spouse that is not truly ready to reconcile.

There is a lot of wisdom in that, kikisum. I can tell you with total honesty that it's possible to feel far more lonely "with" someone, than to be on your own.

[nara]

Optimus,

I know it's difficult not being surrounded by what is familiar and comforting to you (your kids). When my M was over, initially it felt strange not being around my XH, who is usually in my face (and in a really bad way). Over time, I got used to it and my new found freedom...I found great ways to spend my time with my family and friends...I hope you can find something like that for yourself, too.

Sadly, the world doesn't stop when you're alone...and waits for no one.

Just hang in there...and keep posting.

[Optimus]

Well, went to church today and to an evening mentoring school they hold at church.

Yesterday ... some interesting events happened.

At home, watched a few episodes of Touched by an angel - of course I got all teary eyed ...

Prayed to God to help me.

Went out to a coffee shop late that evening to read GREAT FAITH by Peter Youngren.

Bump into the wife and kids doing groceries at 10PM ... extremely late ... the important part was that we connected when we did - I left the coffee shop and she and kids came out of grocery store - what are the odds of that happening?

Kids ran to me, we embraced, told the I loved them.

Before retiring for eveing, asked Holy Spirit to work on me ... well, woke up from my dream because I was laughing in my sleep.

Sunday at church - our pastores theme was about asking God for help and celebrating in our challenges ... I dont know, felt compelled to goto church and message was a continuation of my plea for help the evening before.

So all in all - it was a pleasant weekend.

Love and peace

[NMHurting]

Optimus, I share a lot of your the same emotions you feel. Although I'm in position now where I don't understand why I'm going through all the pain and emotions that I am. But as I've said before. Rome wasn't built in a day. And...if it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for.

[AmyC]

This tests your patience and faith

It's the trying of our faith that produces patience.

[Optimus]

A few weeks back, there was some work being done in my office.

The workers had accidently broken my plant. I walked into my office, looked at the plant and was saddened because of the time and effort I put into bringing it back to life.

I cut the plant at the stem and put it into water - this is what I observed my mother (she has a green thumb) doing as I was growing up. I blessed the water, put the top portion of the plant into the water and lol and behold - it is living!!!!

I looked back at the other half of the plant - with just the stem planted in the pot and said, I'm sorry I could not save you.

I come in today, to find that new leaves are beginning to grow from the stem that is in the planted pot!!

Then, this message immediately came to mind -- as long as the roots have a good grounding, then everything above the soil will once again grow. In other words, as long as we have a solid grounding in God (Our roots) - the top part of the plant (struggle, divorece, separation, ups and downs) will eventually bring forth life, in time.

Interesting what a plant can teach a human!

[Optimus]

NMHurting,

There is only ONE that is all knowing and understanding. I was once like you, wanting to know - but I've learned along the way that it's not in the knowing, but in the learning about oneself and their circumstances along the way.

Believe me, as you draw nearer to Him, aspects of your relationship and such will be reveiled.

One such revealtion about me occured in a dream - whereby it literally felt as if a new heart was put in -- I then woke up crying and ask what this was all about - my heart of stone was replaced with a heart of flesh. I know, it sounds far fetched, but I'm sane!

As you journey forth with Him, be open and observant to what comes your way - He communicates in many ways and circumstances.

[AmyC]

You don't "see" stuff like that unless you're walking in the Spirit.

Thanks for sharing.