What do I do with this cr**???

[bambam1970]

Hi! I'm mostly posting on midlife, but wanted to stop here to get some insights from some of you.

Hey Jazz...found you here too


You know in the past month - 6 weeks things have changed. H told me he is no longer seeing OW (told me w/no prompting from me..just shared with me some unpleasant things about her - ick!) He has been very kind and attentive doing nice things for me and calling often to "check in" and we chat for awhile about "life"...never us.

Well, my sons are on a little league team and H is coach. A mother on the team is recently divorced and, of course, pretty attractive. Sometimes after the games, some parents and kids go out to eat or ice cream. Sometimes I go and sometimes not.

On Thursday after the game, H had all the kids and I went out w/some friends. He called to "check in" and said he was taking kids to eat. I found out later it was him, my kids, other mom and her boys. Ok...I never said a word.

Than, Friday after the game boys tell me they are going to eat again. I took D7 w/me and we went home. H calls me again and we chat about nothing. I ask who is w/ him (lots of noise in background) and he says "***(our son) and ****(other mom's son)" He than tells me the our son had made a bet w/other mom(has done this on a few games like if he hits home run she'll buy team milkshakes etc) that if they win, she'll take them to eat. I said "Oh, so (other coaches and kids) are going too?" He hesitated and said, "Well, no". I said "Ok. I'll see you tomorrow."

We all went to D7 soccer game the next morning. I didn't ask anything about dinner. We were sitting together and laughing etc.

My son" "Hey mom, did you hear about today?"

Me: "No..what about it?"

**NOTE- Our town was having a festival and H was playing in a b-ball game for charity.

Son: (other mom) is picking us up at 2 and taking us to Dad's game.

I didn't say a word. Boys walk away and...

Me: "She is picking up boys and going to your game?".
H: "I told them it was your day w/them and it was up to you."

So, I told boys we'd talk after game.

After the game, H asked me if we could all go eat together. We walk out all together (of course passing OW who is watching her son). As we were leaving he asked if I was going to come to his game and I said yes.

ON the way home, I tell boys that I am not ok w/them making these plans. We had already planned to go to movie w/neighbors. H was working. Boys started telling me this cr**:

Other mom lives with family of another classmate of theirs b/c her X took her house in D and she has nowhere to go.

Other mom broke up w/boyfriend (who STILL comes to games w/her) and he was "stalking" her.

She told boyfriend to stop following her or she's have to call police and get restraining order.

She did not want to be called Mrs. **** b/c she was divorced and didn't like that name (even though it is her children's name still)

Asked son to not tell others on team about the bet b/c she just wanted it to be H and her and kids.

Specifically didn't want boyfriend to know about them going out to eat.

Other minor things, but this were the most disturbing. She told these things to my 11 year old son and some things were told to him by her 11 year old son. WTF????? I was flipping out angry!

I calmly told boys this was not a good situation and I was not comfortable w/them hanging out w/them any longer. Of course the y can still play with her sons, but no more hanging out etc.

Son called H b/c he was very angry w/me and I talked to H:

Me: Did you know abuot (told things from above)

H: Well, I knew he was coming to games etc. But not about police etc

Me: I am not ok w/them hanging out w/her any more.

H: Ok, I'll take care of it.

Me: I don't need you to take care of it, just telling you. If she has a problem, I'll tell her. I think it's pretty creepy that she would tell our boys this stuff.

H: That's a little too much information for them. I understand.

Me: Our kids are going through enough drama of their own. I don't think it needs to be added to.

H: It's ok, I understand. I told son that it was our job as parents to protect them etc etc etc.

Pretty much it...no arguing, just calmly discussing.

So, I took kids to his game and other mom never showed up. Not sure what he told here what he called to tell her not to pick up boys. Don't care really.

After the game, he called me and thanked me for coming and we had a nice conversation about life again. I told him that I was going to go get $$ (kids and I were still at festival waiting for parade) and he said "I'll take a quick shower and bring some to you before I go to work" I said "you don't need to do that" and he said "I know I don't NEED to..WANT to. You guys need to eat down there"

So he called me and I met him and he gave me $$. I told him I was taking kids to movie this week (Surfs Up) and asked if he wanted to go. He didn't commit, but gave me his schedule next week. We talked for a second and than he left.

He called me two more times that evening to "check in" and ask how things were going and we talked.

Ok...so WTF??? A friend who know this other mom told me that she would be very pushy in making these plans and doing so with son and not H. That H is being nice (he thrives on people thinking he's such a wonderful guy...now more than ever!) and that I need to keep strong on this.

Know this is long, but need some input!

bambam