Is MC making it worse?

[TreadingWater]

The MC is really good about always making part of the understanding be "what could you do differently in this relationship or another one"? So that's the future part... using understanding the past to change the current R or prevent the problem in a future R.

Regarding a goal update... these are H's goals. They are not my goals, except that #1 is the "shared" goal for a MC sessions. I already told S that #2 is his - he already knows where I stand. S thinks he knows where he wants to go. He wants a D, so the end-of-June goal is not unrealistic, from his perspective.

My goal for MC is to save our marriage. Realizing this is entirely too big and vague, here are the "baby step" goals:

1. provide ideas/support for my (independent of MC) goals. For example, if I learn something in MC that I then implement, and see progress on my personal goals, that's a sign of success. This happened when I was seeing MC alone.
2. H makes a "for the marriage" change related to what we've talked about in MC. For example, if we talk about how making plans together makes use feel more connected, then S initiates making plans more, that's a success.
3. H stops talking about filing for D.

Regarding your goals question... this is definitelya problem for both of us. We don't have really specific goals for life and marriage. The MC asked me the "marriage goals" question during our first session, and I didn't have a very good answer.