On or about 22 May, WAH called and said that he wanted to negotiate. He said that if I bought him out (house), he would leave my 401K and retirement alone. I told him to draft something up and I would show it to my lawyer.
In the meantime, I e-mailed my lawyer about other issues, and I told him about the negotiations. My lawyer informed me that he was going out of the country...visiting the Philippines. I don't know if it was pleasure or business.
Recently, I rec'd an e-mail from WAH rescinding his verbal offer. I told him that he was unfair, that these things take time, and I didn't realize that I had a 2-wk deadline. I also told him that my lawyer had been out of the country. (I think WAH's lawyer (or someone) told him to recant on his offer.) I also told him that he was been unfair. Then he replied to me saying that I was the one who was unfair because he had wanted to negotiate since he filed for divorce.
I think the STBX is really flipping out. When he filed, we were still pretty friendly. I was still hoping for a reconciliation. There was never any discussions about negotiations until recently. I didn't bother to response.
He then told me that we had a 3 Jul court date. I called and e-mailed my lawyer. I still haven't heard anything from him. I'm getting a tad worried. A few days ago, STBX e-mailed me and told me that he was willing to negotiate (again) but through our lawyers. DUH! Did he actually think that I was going to do it alone! I still haven't responded.
I was also worried that our divorce date was going to be the same date as our wedding anniversary, which is 16 Jul.
On to another topic but same subject...I know people mean well, but I really don't like "well-meaning" people who think that I'm just taking it all laying down. Texas is a community-property state and a no-fault state. People think it's so easy to snap my fingers, and my lawyer will work it out so that my WAH gets nada. I wish that were the case, but it's not going to happen. There is always someone who knows someone who didn't get anything through the divorce. My lawyer said not to pay attention to those people because IF that's the case, there is probably more to that someone's case.
I'm glad I haven't told many people because I don't think I could stand everyone telling me how to run my divorce.
Anyhoo...I hope you are feeling better, and there is nothing wrong in feeling sad and crying about our loss. Divorce is a bigger step than marriage...it's an end to what was and what could have been. No matter how bad a marriage is, and I'm certainly not implying that yours was bad (or mine), divorce is very traumatic. I sure hope that I don't have to go to court because like you, I'm afraid of losing it :-(.
All my best, alamogirl
Me - 48 (at time of 1st bomb) H - 43 married - 16 Jul 94 no children 1st bomb - (said he was leaving) - 3 Jun 06 2nd bomb (said he was ready to file) - 10 Nov 06 H filed divorce - 17 Nov 06 Divorce finalized - 20 Jul 07
