On Memorial Day my H's cousin and his wife invited us over for a cookout. The girls and I went. I was talking to my H's aunt by marriage, she is married to his dad's brother. She told me that my H's father and both maternal and paternal grandfathers cheated. If it really does run in families my H has a long history of it!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Oh, by the way I was invited first to the cookout but they asked me to call my H. I called him and he was too busy mowing his shop/office lawn that he had been mowing since 12:30 and DD called him at 5:30 to see if he was going to cookout, but he couldn't because he wasn't finished mowing. I promise you there is not that much lawn there! Oh well, I enjoyed myself immensely.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Hi penny, I have wondered if these affairs is a family history thing too b/c my H's dad did it all thru their marriage and I think his grandfather too?
C
Well, I can tell you about my mom's side but first let me say I have never cheated on my MLC H.
I could write a soap opera.
My mom's oldest brother was a priest and he was also married. Had A with one woman for awhile, took her to Hawaii, etc. He separated from his wife but they got back together. They moved to TX and then had more A's and finally went out with a woman his kids age and what did he do? He gave OW his kids inheritance money. Weird.
My mom's oldest sister.
Married to a wonderful guy BUT she had an A with a black man. Had child # 1 with her H then got pregnant twice with black man and had two girls. My uncle never said anything and raised those girls as if they were his own until the day he died. This aunt went on to have an A with a latin guy she brought to a cousin's wedding as well.
My mom's younger brother. Had a gorgeous wife and three kids. Met OW at the bank, had A, moved in with this OW, divorced his wife for OW. Week before wedding to OW, went back to first wife and said cheating on her was the worst mistake of his life and asked her to take him back!! Wife #1 said, you are sick, no way!! He married the OW, was unhappy but stayed married to her until he died.
As for H's side--I have no clue about any A's--best kept secret maybe.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
My mother had 3 brothers that cheated on their wives. One was killed in car wreck the night that his wife got in a fight with the OW and was put in the hospital. They say God works in mysterious ways, his wife would have been in the car if she wasn't in the hospital. One of the brothers has sons that also cheated on their wives. It's a sad world we live in. Why isn't marriage sacred to everyone? As we all know it is for many of us or we wouldn't be here. Love to you all.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Just a quick note. Not only has H father but 2 of his brothers have had A. They are goodlooking guys and one has been married twice and has A in both marriage. Rumor has it my H OW has been with H brother when he was married to each wife. Of course she denied it but her SIL said she confessed it to her. How mixed up is that. Also she went after another one of my H brother when his wife came down with cancer but he would have nothing to do with her. She is a good one!!!!!
There must be a gene weakness.
Well got to run but it is a very strange it runs in families. I have really talked to my boys about it.
I don't know if you guys beleive in the power of prayer,but I beleive it runs in the family that constant prayer/fasting can break the visciuos evil spirit filled cycle!
This is now my new prayer for my FIL to aslo break free from OW and go back to his wife who is a good woman.
Chicki Remember for your prayers to be honest you also need to forgive and pray for your enemy (OM / OW). I am not a church going kind of guy but I too have been praying alot every night. I pray for forgivnes for myself, My W and the OM.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
HI Chicki, we also believe that. MY MIL prays everday for my H in hopes that her prayers will be answered. I have also said alot of prays.
Hi guys It is truely amazing how they look at things like they are doing nothing wrong. My H told my SIL that we had problems and that he was just seeing OW. She told him if that was the case he should have Divorced me first. That it isn't right. In his mind we are thru and its OK for him to do what he is doing. He is just so distant any more and gets mad when I don't make the conversation interesting. Its hard when it is one sided....
Penny, I as bewilerdered on how they think what they r doing is jsut fine I think especially my H since my Fil is doing it seems to going fine w/ his OW. So, now my H whouse to not be able to be compared w/ father is now best buddies w/ him! Even my Mil says that cince he now his father's support and he takes his Ow ther on the wekend. Guys, I need so much suppotrt right now!Sorry to high jack your thread! But I shold of know n better thta while his OW wa out of town he came by more to just use me!! It was confirmed today when he returned w/ the girls an after he said she wasn't back, the girls told methey went to the zoo w/her!!! Ofcousre after he quickly tell me we have to talk about us and I said NO! You have already made of your mind she wins! I need to move on. H- no I don't want to be over there I am so confused!! I will post it later on my thread!! I have been crying all day and he asked if he should take the girls for the rest of the day as I was not in the right mood.
Well Chicki it must be in the air.....OW has flown back to see my H and he has talked all the time. He gave her one of our extra phones to call him. I called him and said I can't be the extra person in our marriage anymore. It has gone on too long. He said she is just a product of our problems. I told hime the same product or not he has made the choice. We still have to have some contact because of the business but I am calling in the cards and he has made his choice. The problem is finanicially neither one of us can get out. He said today that he loves me and respected me and admired me but couldn't live with me. That he has big problems and he has to figure them out. and doesn't want to be married and I haven't had him in a long time. I told him I can't believe I have been such a flippin fool ( nice lang) for so long and have been so loyal and supported him. He said that it is all him and he has destroyed me. He doesn't even know who he is and hasn't for years. He said he was messed up when we got married and can't believe I stayed married to him. What a fool I am..... I guess I finally after years of him being not a nice husband I have set my foot down. I told him you will realize some day that you have what every man wants a strong family and 2 great boys that everyone brags about. Even though I am prejudice they are kind, respectful, and goodlooking boys. They will help any one and have good morals but I have gave them the right act alot since it runs in this family. I try to have them go to church one of them is better than the other.
I told him that even though we had trouble the one he picked is everything he hated in me except she is tall and wild a terrible mother has 4 kids and they all live with their dad. I said she might be a better woman but not a better person....
I told him I am not stupid that I knew she flew back and saw him last week end. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. I even said I know you are sleeping with her does she know you were sleeping with me. I also told him that does she know about your old girlfriend and your other friend in NM that calls all the time? I don't believe she wil put up with the stuff I did but I was the fool with 25years under my belt. Can you tell I am definitely venting alot tonight. When you finally realize its been over a long time its hard. Chicki I to have cried all day. I told him he has been in a MLC for a long time . He said he was messed up way before that. Its the pits to be in this situation and doing all the work in our business. Well I am just numb and drained and I was supposed to drive 9 hrs to watch my oldest son compete but I couldn't do it. I called and told him I was just to tired that I had put in 2 16 hr days and just couldn't drive by myself that far. I think he is disappointed but I couldn't have made it today. I feel bad.
So welcome to life what curves it throws us.......
