The fact is, in my experience, if you do what you described in your first paragraph, many if not most men are not going to give you a chance to say what you said in your second paragraph... There's no way in hell that a guy who actually is assertive is going to let you tell him how to be assertive.
You are absolutely correct, most guys won't let your head hit the pillow and open your mouth to speak. They may... the first time you do it. But. That is the point. Hap and LFL wanted a man coming at them full of passion. Well... fill him up with passion. It's a great way to get your own motor running, too.
And as for the second part on an assertive guy letting a woman tell him how to be assertive... (wicked grin...)
But. That is the point. Hap and LFL wanted a man coming at them full of passion. Well... fill him up with passion. 