I'm going to try this Beth with my own situation. My H needs to figure out his life - he's left for a 21 yr old (he's 35) when we have 2 little kids (one a newborn!)
I really liked Sparky's thread. It's the stuff I need to keep reading. My husband complains all the time that every decision was made for him and he's not going to make any decision on my "timetable". He's so lost but I do realize that I am trying to force my decision on his life. I'm learning I really can't control him and its driving me nuts :)!!!
I'm trying to back off and let him go through his journey - hoping the affair will die a natural death, as they say most do within 6 months of discovery.
Will tell you I said to my H yesterday that I don't think he thinks about things because he never talks. He said "i'm just quiet - I think about things and change my mind daily". That gave me hope - just because you're not hearing your H think doesn't mean he's not doing it.
Give him space - Michelle said in DR that if you do all the worrying about the relationship, they don't have to. I'm a ACOA and a caretaker/fixer. I need to start letting my H fix this and he needs space to figure that out. Whether he will is another thing, but ....I can only hope.
