Oh how nice to see you all respond by the time I woke up this morning!! This will be such a good site for me..
So my whole situation... I'm 35 and my H is 36. I have a mom in law who has made my M hell. We have a 3 year old son and things had been going well, with some issues. I thought it was just typical M ups and downs. In August I got pregnant and that is the same WEEK my husband began talking with 21 in college (family friend). By November, I had no idea why things so bad. My whole pregnancy not good. H said he needed space and we'd "date" and fix marriage. Only excuse to start being with 21 year old (who by the way has lived out of state during whole 9 month relationship and will be moving here in 2 weeks to go to very prestigious law school which wont unfortunately start until Labor Day). Was "dating" me and her until I found out about her and then the dating me stopped. I've had to file for D just to get things resolved - he would have liked to keep the status quo for longer. Too hard on me emotionally and financially.
So I feel like I've lost everything - who signs up to spend the rest of their kids lives only every other weekend? - not most moms of 3yr old and newborn. But that is what is happening - I get them 65% of time. In my free time, I'm going out and making new friends. Having fun actually but when he comes around to get kids, I just get so angry and I plead for him to work on marriage. I really feel like he and she are going to have to live in same town a while and see how difficult affair could be. Until now, they see each other on weekend getaways - well can't everybody be in love when there are no responsibilities? I've read most affairs die a "natural death" within 6 mos of discovery and that reality has to set in, they cannot live in bubble anymore?
I am hopeful? that when she gets here and law school starts in Sep, things go sour and he wakes up. But then I feel like that says so little about me - that I would be willing to be someone's leftovers. I respect myself so much better than that and everyone tells you you should never take them back. I'm torn between wanting him to come back (DB says its always best to fix marriage when kids involved) and wanting to find someone else before that could happen so if he comes back, I could just laugh. He's got so many issues financially and all that I sometimes just think...cut bait.
So being here will definitely help. I want to be able to look my kids in the face one day and say mommy tried EVERYTHING to make it work...
Did I tell you my H agreed to go to MC - I'm going to try to make it the only time I communicate with him - all other times, I won't call (I don't now) or anything. We are supposed to start this week if he'll actually show up. I told him there were no other conditions on it, meaning I did not expect him yet to break it off with OW.
How do they know we're having so much fun, etc...if they don't ask and don't live with you? GAL makes me happier but how do they see it?
