Haven't been on the boards for a while now and decided to read yours to see how you are doing. I seem to be feeling like you in that I can really feel myself getting angry inside because after all my hard work to stop the D I feel I'm "owed" something - I seem to keep needing to talk about how much H hurt me when he left. I also feel exhausted from walking on eggshells and not being able to say what I feel or think and am also utterly sick and tired of worrying that he is going to leave me again. Maybe like you say it is an inevitable part of getting back together. It feels to me that things will never ever be the same in my heart again because I know he is capable of causing me so much pain.
Anyway....enough about me agreeing with you - what I wanted to say was something about your ML troubles. It seems a bit wrong offering advice as you have been my "sage" throughout DB and you are a DB hero but when reading your words about the ML issue you don't say what you do. (apologies if you have said any of this previously btw) What I mean is you are saying you want H to hug and kiss and ML to you. I know where you're coming from because that is my LL and I prefer to have H approach me. What I mean though is do you try to ML to him or kiss him? If you do does he brush you off with an excuse or does he respond? All I'm thinking is if you don't tend to approach H how about trying that for a while. It is very hard for someone not to respond and start wanting it more (unless there is a medical problem) when their partner is always showing them how desired they are. Maybe when he goes to just peck try to turn it into a really great proper kiss. When you're in bed cuddle up and try to do something you know gets him going and tell him how much you fancy him. I just know that my H tends to get a bit like yours and since I've been doing things like that and showing him how I really feel about him there seems to be no stopping him now!
Hope haven't offended you and hope this may be an option to try out rather than waiting to see if H does something. Just get on in there and get what you want!!! IP
there seems to be no stopping him now!
IP
