Well, nothing with GFs. Tomorrow I get to take my collies - 2 - to get groomed (a four hour exercise) and then I have to stop by a senior graduation open house - the last one of the year. I get to talk finances again w/ H before all this - OH GOODY!! - and I'll be trying to keep from blowing my dark-ish week.
Sunday is S2's birthday - he officially becomes 13! - and at sometime that day, H will come over and we will have a birthday lunch. Probably a bit awkward, but S2 has asked.
Father's Day will probably be handled lightly. The boys have to decide betw. giving H an oil change for his truck - much needed - or a subscription to a scientific magazine he wants. Other than that and a pair of home made cards, I'm not sure what we are doing. For Mother's Day, I went out with the boys and my parents. Maybe the boys will go out with their dad. I can't guess, though.
I'm feeling a bit edgy tonight. I had my parents over for dinner. (They only moved here - actually to the small acreage next door - last fall, and we don't do this often.) My mom has a way of touching off my nerves, although I keep trying to detach from her, and after my dad repeated all of the stories he told the last time we got together, he didn't have anything to say. I think H&my situation was the big pink elephant in the living room - my parents don't deal well, although H is more kind and helpful to them than me right now. So I'm feeling that icky anxiety after effects that come around and gives me the blues. I think I better go to bed soon and hopefully tomorrow will dawn happier and I'll have my strength back again.
Do you mind if I write one more thing (this is really long already, but...)?
Tonight S2 and I were watching DVD's of the second season of House, M.D. We watched one episode where a 9yo girl is dying of cancer. Afterwards, S2 says to me that he figures that he can't get cancer b/c the stress would kill me. I said that I didn't think so b/c I'm getting stronger all the time, and he said "yes, but you are still really fragile." GREAT! I'm going to cry! Why does this all make me feel so guilty? I have both of my sons caring for me, despite my attempts to bravely go on... So, do you think I'm messing them up?
I suspect this is being posted too late for you tonight. I'll try to let you know what happens tomorrow.
- and I'll be trying to keep from blowing my dark-ish week.
