Mirroring - yes. ST called it something else but its the same thing. H struggled with it for sure. And ST got a LOT of emotion out of him today, more than I have seen in a long, long time (this is also a good thing)
So I surpass Paris huh? I would say that's also a good thing!
Well, me? hmmmm - seems like I might not be much better than H when it comes to the disfuntional family, but I already knew that. Seem I might also have a form of detachment (both of us had cold R with mothers which might be the main reason that brought us together in the first place - ST says we respond only 10% conscious, and 90% sub consciously).
It was interesting when he was talking to me about my dad and I mentioned that I felt my dad wasn't treated fairly in life, especially by my mother. That's when this light went on - I had a much closer bond with my father than my mother because I felt he wasn't treated fairly, particularly by my mother - AND, I felt I wasn't treated fairly by my mother either - ding, ding, ding.
As far as H working nights, he doesn't work 5 nights a week, only 2-3 so there really isn't much in the way of excuses he can give for that. He always has Saturday through Monday off too.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
It was much harder when we both worked fulltime but we are trying to cut back a little.
This firm that wants me to come work with them (the one where I am doing contract work right now) would probably be agreeable to me working 4 days a week. That way, I would have Mondays off, just like H and I think that would do us the world of good
Oh - another bonus ... ST lent us a massage DVD, obviously hoping it will help us. Don't know how sexual it is and I am expecting H will frown on it (he doesn't like things like that AT ALL) but who knows, he might surprise me (here's hoping)
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
So looks like he is definitely convinced H is dealing with M/W complex, although he doesn't call it that (prefers to call it "detachment theory".
Kind of like how I referred to it when talking to my H about it as "a way of thinking" Our MC and I knew we couldn't say "you have W/M", he would have absolutely resisted having someone try to attach a label to him...however when I told him one day when we were discussing things "I really wouldn't want to call it a "syndrome" or a "complex" I wouldn't want to pigeonhole you that way, I think it's more of a "way of thinking"....he responded with "EXACTLY!"
I'm interested to see how things progress with your ST...but probably no more interested than you are LOL
Oh - another bonus ... ST lent us a massage DVD, obviously hoping it will help us. Don't know how sexual it is and I am expecting H will frown on it (he doesn't like things like that AT ALL) but who knows, he might surprise me (here's hoping)
He may not like things like massage (with you) because it's an intimate thing to do...it wouldn't fit with his W/M way of thinking.
FWIW, I am merely hours away from being a licensed massage therapist...just never bothered to get licensed because I do it for fun, for the ones I care about kind of. For YEARS I would offer my H massages and he would always turn me down. Finally one evening after he'd worked hard outside (after our Dday) he said "would you mind rubbing my back it's really sore", it was asked in a VERY unsure manner...like he didn't want to ask. Of course I obliged. When I was finished his response was "what an idiot I've been!" LOL
Anyway...he always turned me down because massage is an intimate thing...and massage often leads to more than just a massage, a man with W/M just avoids that at all cost.
My H now rubs my back almost every night....and is now more comfortable accepting massages when I offer, and asking for them too...it really helps to build intimacy.
Our MC and I knew we couldn't say "you have W/M", he would have absolutely resisted having someone try to attach a label to him...however when I told him one day when we were discussing things "I really wouldn't want to call it a "syndrome" or a "complex" I wouldn't want to pigeonhole you that way, I think it's more of a "way of thinking"....he responded with "EXACTLY!"