When's it my turn?

[SDFoundGirl]

Thanks Rob. The MC point blank asked him what the problem was, and told me I'd probably felt "violated" because I'd been vulnerable and posted my needs and been ignored. I suspect there's still a lot H hasn't dealt with...he's not in IC anymore, and probably he still needs to be. Somehow work issues revolve around having to stay to make the mortgage, and the idea of just selling the freaking place so he can quit and find a job that makes him happy is not okay because, according to H, "That's not what you want."

And so, H is falling into these same stupid patterns that ticked me off in the first place. Instead of TALKING to me, he makes assumptions about what I think/how I feel and then gets pissed off at me for a decision I never had a part in. This happened over and over again in our M. I called him on that crap, and so did the MC.

I've tried to share some of what I've learned, but it goes in one ear and out the other. He's still stuck in that mindset of "If I struggle enough, I'll make these idiots see my point of view." It's so much easier to stop struggling and just let go of the control...but that's his thing to figure out. I can't do it for him.

Thanks for checking in on me. Things are sliiiiiightly better, but not much. I'm still doing the things on H's list, still putting all those good DB things into place, trying not to get too uptight about what I can't control. Still, there has to be a line drawn for me.

SD