I have also heard - "he makes me feel safe", and "i feel like i've known him for a much longer time than I have".
Soulmate BS. The sad/funny thing is the fact that it is an affair makes their relationship stronger. They are constantly trying to reduce their guilt by telling themselves all these 'soulmate' lies. (until they are free to invest fully in it, and realize the OP has all the same faults if not more than we do)
Are we a bitter bunch? Nahhhh! I'm glad I'm so over that, I just had a momentary relapse, it just happened, I didn't plan to be bitter, it just felt so right at the time, kind of like having a soulmate Now, back to you ERC.
Love the chatter, it is a nice break in the day for me. Let me chime in... My wife hated me calling her an adulter/infidel whatever word you want to use for what she is doing. Yes, I have heard it all. We never meant for this to happen. I feel like I have known him my entire life. And the one that I like best since they haven't had sex. We where so good, we never let it get that far. We put up barriers. You really put up barriers....
W just called to give me the run down on how she is helping me get our girls ready for the weekend. I thanked her and told her I appreciated the help with getting our girls ready. She also asked if I bought a fathers day gift for my dad. I told her that I have not and was planning on getting him something from our girls. She then said that she would not buy anything for him since she did not want to cross any boundaries with me. But she is going to buy something for my Grandpa from our girls. Strange, don't you think. She also said that she was in a BAD mood. Although the conversation was pleasant it sounded like she was not having fun.
FIB, I just bought the NUTS book. Looks like an easy read. I will start reading it this weekend.
Next, maybe in counseling Monday I can suggest that my W read the book When Love Dies. Maybe this will help her realize that she is not in a unique sitch and her thoughts are normal for a WAW.
I'm not sure how to suggest that she read the book. I have thought about giving it to my wife, but I can't figure out how to do it. If i give it to her she'll just disagree with the points, or somehow convince herself that her situation is different.
Oh and my wife is not "seeing him right now" because that would be wrong. Yet my cellphone bill is $700.00
In family therapy when I said "i should be the one that is angry, my wife is sleeping with another man" - she replied - "i'm not sleeping with him", so I replied - "ok, my wife slept with another man, and talks to him every day, and is waiting to seperate so she can see him again."
ERC, just a little advice, give up on trying to make her see the light, it won't happen (at least not through your efforts to educate her anyway). Put your energy into DBing and GALing. It's so tempting to hand them a book but they won't read it. She will just resent the attempt to prove her wrong. Don't go there.
I was hopefull since a few months back I bought the book Walk out Women(I think that is the title). I gave it to her to read and she did. At the time I think it bought me more time. Now that book is just a distant memory to her.
I think your right by giving her the book or suggesting it, it would like a pathetic feeble attempt to prove her wrong.
I amy be the dumbest man alive or the greatest Dad. It is a fine line I think. I am about to leave for the weekend to bring my girls camping and my 5D convinced me to bring the puppy. Remember I did not want this puppy, so this is big for me. Now my W is home alone all weekend without the puppy to tie her down. Could be a good weekend for her to date her BF. I think the campsite has WIFI so I am bringing my laptop and will keep you all up to date.
ERC, they don't "date", that term is way below the euphoric rapture that enjoins their souls forever...so, yes, they'll probably hit the Burger King together or maybe bowling!!!
Now, back to you ERC. 