I'll bet it's a big mess. I often wonder just what W tells OM. I'm sure he's in the dark about the fact that she tells me she's thinking about reconciling. I've often thought about talking to him myself but I don't know if he'd believe some of the things that she's told me, some of which are a bit insulting to him. I'm glad your sister could take care of that.
I hear you about the immaturity too. Everyone who follows my situation knows I think my W is very irrational. It's not very attractive.
Step back again and take care of yourself. You can't help him.
From reading what you wrote above I can imagine you feel like me. I want my marriage to work, but W has been exhibiting some of the behaviors your H is. So, I'm torn because I really don't want her the way she is now. It can be very confusing. I have two people in my head fighting viciously on whether I should continue or let her go.
