And even this is open to interpretation from one person to another. I think my mother WAS trying to correct my behavior. I was very shy as a teen and often was home reading or something. She thought I should have been out. I (the introvert) was compared to my cousin (the extrovert) and because I didn't behave like my cousin did, I was weird and abnormal.
My sensitive nature drove her batty because she couldn't deal with it. So she labeled me oversensitive.
I remember her coaching me (and not because I asked) on how to smile, how to walk, how to greet people (always say their name, i.e., "hi, Jane.") She WAS trying to correct my behavior. I suppose you could do this in a way that didn't give the child/teen a negative message, but mostly I saw it as yet another example of her pointing out my "flaws."
I wasn't behaving "badly." I wasn't hurting anyone by staying home and reading when I was a teen. My mother tried to push me to conform to her preconceived idea of what a teenage girl should be, and when I resisted, she labeled me as weird.
I say she should have accepted me for who I was (unconditional love). I was getting good grades, I was involved in extracurricular activities (music mostly) and I always had girlfriends. IMO, she should have been very happy with me!
I remember being at my mother's aunt's house about 10 years ago and our aunt made a comment to my mother about what a nice or great or lovely daughter she had, and I just cringed. It made me very uncomfortable because I thought surely my mother didn't agree with that. I found it difficult to hear a compliment about myself in my mother's presence.
BTW, I would never say "you will never be alone because I will always love you" to my child. Why would anyone say that? We can't guarantee that our children will never be alone. That seems like a statement designed to create dependency on the parent. I'd be more inclined to say "I love you because you're you."
