I was working on an awesome post just to let all my feelings out and of course my computer froze cause I have been busy all morning~ UUUUGGGGHHHH~ FUNNY and my H says I do not work~

THANKS TYLER . ~ you are a sweetheart.I do so need words of encouragement lately. Your post made me smile even more. It is so nice to know people care!
GRACIAS~ ;\)

I have decided that I need and my H needs more than me to be a strong take no sh*t type of WOMAN. I am not that type of Woman at all I go with the flow and rejoice in everyday however hard it may be.... So heres to working on the new me~

My H has been very sweet with me lately and also still moody. I did talk to him @ his drinking and kept it light til he is in front of me and then I will "talk " to him further about it. He needs to know how I feel and from a controlling standpoint but from a stand point of I love you and this is what I see that you need to work on. I have also decided to work on the part of me that is far too soft. He was having a real nice convo with me and contradicting everything he said a few days ago????
Then he said sometimes I can be a B***h in a joking tone,, {real funny I thought~}he wishes.....
I said " HONEY YOU APPARENTLY DO NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD~ In ... A STRONG BUT NOT HARSH TONE.
I then told him some stuff that he seems to need to know,, I also said I did not appreciate when he gets grumpy with me when he is "hungover"

He called me several times last nite to say hi and he has been "kissing my ***" some. Oh well,, I will still work on this new me I am going to have to get comfortable with. I feel like he needs me to be this "DOMINATRIX" with him. Not just in the bedroom either. Also my kids would not want to see me in that outfit but H would love it. I even told him yesterday some pretty "naughty" stuff in a very strong tone ... and he just about melted. OOOOOOOOOPSSSSSS~ Maybe this "NEW" me is far to much for him? He threw it in my face when he had his outburst that I think SEX will fix everything.... SERIOUSLY?
NOW I am some sort of NYMPHOMANIAC~ ;\) COOL? I have reached my goal cause just in February I was "FRIGID"~ and he said I neede to work on my sexuality. ~WOW~ GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! Like they say when you watch Mexican Soccer!

I see where I need to go and where I need to be. So I cannot always have this dominatrix outfit on ,, I think I need to mentally put it on much , much more! I need to keep getting the me back that I used to be when I felt, sexy and beautiful and strong and full of life and vitality and that I was invincible and noone could stop me. I will get there make no mistake about that and then my H will be in for a HUGE SURPRISE~ No panties at the airport will seem like nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;\)
I am working really hard on me and I will do this.
He "acts" very macho and then there are moments when he lets his vulnerabilty show. And for some reason some times I "pounce" on those moments and enjoy them and then there are others where it makes me uncomfortable... like he has said ILY everyday since his OUTBURST. And while I love it instead of lingering and saying ILY2 baby you mean sooo much to me....... and getting mushy I act like it is just something normal he is saying to me... is that ok? Or am I avoiding something?
I just say ILY2 and start talking about something else. I have started this just this past week ,, it hurt me when he said I only have to prove myself not him.

So I am calling his bluff and if he can honestly blurt out he is done with me at at the drop of a hat. When he clearly loves me so much!
...... then I better get my Voluptuos a** in gear and get on to being the strong WOMAN I AM~ so when and if he throws it around again I do not crumble. HOT, sexy,strong and really intelligent women do not crumble they keep going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have so much more to post and I need to stop and be a MOM.
I am enjoying this new attitude and need to strengthen it and take care of it!!!!!!
GOD BLESS....