Yeah, well she'll get bitchy. Ignore it. It's not aimed at you. It's how she feels about life. Remember way of the superior man -- you cut through her storminess with your imperturbable clarity of purpose.
Listen, Mr. Skinny Hotpants Dude. IF you go to the wedding -- you better damn well look like a million bucks. I suggest you buy yourself a new suit for the wedding. A nice dark charcoal gray three button suit. Go with a crisp white or a light blue shirt. Make sure the shirt has been washed, pressed and lightly starched at the dry cleaners. Try one of those iridescent gold patterned ties. Black shoes, polished. A light splash of your favorite cologne. You are ready for the hunt. Time to polish up your flirting skills. Yes..flirt at the wedding. Do it in front of your wife, but also compliment her as well. Show her you are confident enough to engage her as well as "play" with other women. She'll either hate your guts or want to ravage you with hot sex under one of the banquet tables. Time to let it all hang out.
Please stop being nice. \\
I'm sounding a little like Frank, beccause he bitch-slapped me on the phone the other day and reminded me that sometimes I sound like a nice-guy wus and it's very boring.
Where's the warrior? The dashing, brave, true, fierce MC?
I, for one, am very proud of Mr. Skinny Hotpants dude. Those firm, tight, sweet, cheeks of yours are driving all the women crazy.
OK, I need help here, I am going freaking crazy. If I had an attorney handy, I would file for freaking divorce and be done with the miserable b!tch. As I stated above, she treated me like dog poop earlier today.
After working out, S15 asked to go to my favorite Irish Pub for a burger, rather than a sub that CW gave him money for. What a great mom. As we were leaving the restaurant, she called my cell. I ignore it. She called agoin 2 minutes later and ignored it. I was still pissed about her behavior earlier.
I got home and my home number rang. It was CW's cell. I ignored it. Then my cell rang again and I answered it. She had talked to S15 and knew I ignored her call. I asked what she wanted and was very short with her. She was mad that I took my son to dinner when tonight was her night to have the kids. She also said that it was unfair that I was taking S15 to a bball game tomorrow night. I had asked her about it prior to asking him and she okayed it. I pointed out to her that she wasn't even home, so what did it matter if I took him to dinner and then I told her we could skip the game. I curtly said goodbye and hung up.
She called back 3 minutes later and said that he really wanted to go to the game and asked what time I was picking him up. I told her what my plan was and I would discuss it with him tomorrow. I then went on to say that I had the right to take my son to dinner whenever I chose and she had no right to treat me like a 10 year old and yell at me. She claimed innocent and said, when did she do that. I rattled off three examples. She went on to accuse me of trying to control the marriage. I was P!SSED off. I asked for an example and she couldn't give me one. I stood my ground and kept asking for an example. I told her several times that the way she treats me is wrong.
I did calm a bit and said I shouldn't have yelled at her, but I wasn't going to take it from her.
S15 called about 15 minutes later and needed something, then CW called a bit later asking if I called her cell just now because she got an unavailable call. I told her that none of my phones were "unavailable" when calling.
She is getting on my nerves.
On a positive note, my cycling instructor told me I looked svelt.
Last edited by mcojh; 06/08/0701:26 AM.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
All in all a good interaction. It's OK for you to yell a little. It shows your human.
Really.
Maybe you shouldn't ignore your wife's calls in front of your son.
I'm thinking it make sense for you to hang our with your son when your wife isn't at home and it's "her" night with the kids. The reason she's upset is the guilt. If she wants them at her apt. on "her" night, then fine. She's not raging at you, she's raging at life and proabably at herself.
Initiate a conversation -- in person -- not about the relationship -- but to clarify exactly what she wants and what you want in the "visitation" schedule of sharing the kids. If it's clear and expectations are clarified, then you'll have less fights about it. It also needs to be clear that if one person wants to do something with the kids on the other person's night, then they need to to ask. If the other parent says OK, then they can't bitch about it. If your wife wants to leave the kids in front of the TV on her "night" with them and the kids want to do something with you -- you need to let them know they need to stay at mom's place and watch TV. Respect your agreements with her.
By the way, this is no big deal. It'a a marital spat. She's allowed to get pissed at you. You are allowed to get pissed at her.
Ok, i think now you should drop the whole spat. Theoden is right, be the Superior Man, or you will be carrying a relatively minor argument into your future interactions.
Or more honestly, you are angry about the whole situation, you are angry with your wife, and that anger is coming out in the way you relate over these smaller issues.
This is exactly the way your wife is handling things right now. She blows up over little things because she is carrying around a lot of resentment, guilt, anger, confusion, etc. You need to be the one with godlike clarity, don't let her get to you. You have been here long enough to know she is CRAZY. Accept that and deal with her like you would your teenager.
You are exactly right. I am being the SMan. What I am angry about is the fact that she feels that for what ever reason she is crabby, she can take it out on me and treat me like a 10 year old.
I took Theo's advice and bought a new suit for the wedding tomorrow. I weent with a dark charcoal with a faint pinstripe. Light blue shirt with a irrodescent blue tie.
After getting home, CW called. I was on the other line so I let it ring. Then my cell rang. I didn't take that either as I was on the other line. I did call her back when I was done, and she was all sweetness and light. She wanted to know if it was okay that she was working until 1pm instead of 1230 because S15 was supposed to come over and help me. She knew that was fine and she also knew what we were doing. I kept it short and then she asked if I was dropping S15 off after the game or if he was going home with me. I told her I would drop him off. He is supposed to stay there tonight...I didn't want a repeat of last night. She is enough to make me rip my hair out.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
I hear you. Remember, she isn't spewing about the R, she is spewing about you taking your kid for a burger.
Breath it in. Respond with a joke. "It was 2 for 1 burger night! Are you trying to make me fat so I won't fit in my skinny pants :)"
Don't tell her she is wrong to be mad. "It sounds like you are angry about this. Would you rather S15 call to check with you first next time? I don't want you to feel like I am going behind your back, we just both had a hankering for a sweet juicy burger."
She is mad because - you are looking like the Good Guy to S15. She doesn't see you as a good dad and happy for the kids, she sees herself as a bad mom. So you being superdad, makes her feel like crappymom and her anger is directed more at that. I see that in my wife as well.
MC, Theo is going to be disappointed that you did not opt for the spandex suit.
I think Next hit the nail on the head with this one.
Quote:
She is mad because - you are looking like the Good Guy to S15. She doesn't see you as a good dad and happy for the kids, she sees herself as a bad mom. So you being superdad, makes her feel like crappymom and her anger is directed more at that. I see that in my wife as well.
Try not to get to worked up over your W little temper tatrums. Once she sees that they do not effect you they will stop. Though she will probably try to rope you back in with a "you don't care" or "you are ruining my relationship with S" comment.
